Santana Lopez, Sex therapist
by thisismymuse
Summary: Rachel and Finn have a problem, yes that kind of problem. Rachel needs an expert so she goes to the one person who she knows can help her...
1. Chapter 1

**A/N I have a half-finished story which I'm slowly plugging away at trying to get finished before I post more but this kind of just popped in my head and wouldn't go away. Warning - it may end up a little smutty. Almost became a pezberry fic but it is finchel with a lot of Santana. It may switch a little between first and third person which I hope will still read OK.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Glee, just borrowing the characters and amusing myself in the summer break **

**Chapter One – Rachel's little problem**

"Finn!" I shrieked in frustration, cringing at the sound of my voice echoing down the near empty hallways of McKinley HS. Lowering it I continued in a harsh whisper as Finn cowered in front of his locker. "You know this afternoon is the only day of the week we don't have extra-curricular activities and the only time we have a few hours of seclusion without parental supervision. How could you organise a Halo marathon with Puck and Artie?"

"Come on Rach it's not that big of a deal," he replied while randomly stuffing books in his locker, an activity that was completely pointless and a deliberate distraction from the topic at hand. "We only ever make-out and we do that when your dad's are in the house anyway. What difference does it make if they're there or not?"

He had a point. We'd been back together for a month since nationals and our physical relationship was kind of stalled. Shaking my head of this thought I focused on the real issue here - that Finn was putting two idiots and a stupid video game ahead of his devoted, loving girlfriend – that was the real relationship crime, not the lack of intimacy!

My hostile thoughts were rudely interrupted by none other than Santana, who although her locker is at least three away from mine still thought it necessary to rudely shove me out of the way as she spoke to no-one in particular.

"Will you 2 children stop bickering. It's hurting my eyes and my ears not to mention my sanity."

"Shut up Santana," I replied pulling myself up to my full (although still inferior) height as I turned to face her, "Finn and I are trying to work through our relationship issues like mature adults. Something I'm sure you'd know nothing about…" I turned away as I said this hoping to dismiss her from further discussion. The animosity between us was still as lively as ever, in fact lately she'd taken up a rather annoying habit of taunting both Finn (and presumably also myself) about whether he'd managed to pluck any 'Berries' lately. I presume this was a rather unsubtle reference to my still virginal status and Finn's lack of experience in seducing women, two points I was not all bothered by. Ok well maybe I was starting to get a little bothered by it….

"Dwarf, I'm going to give you some really good relationship advice here, and there's plenty more where this came from," Santana replied in her usual sarcastic manner, "why don't you do something really adult, get a room and fuck it out. Works a treat for me and I can guarantee you won't remember your own name afterwards let alone what you were fighting about."

I caught the smirk on Finn's face from the corner of my eye and would have chastised him there and then if my anger hadn't been predominately focused on Santana.

"Sex is not the answer to everything," I stated firmly crossing my arms across my chest.

"You know what Hobbitt," she replied pulling books from her locker before turning towards me hands on hips. "It's the cure for most of what ails the human condition. Why don't you try it sometime and see."

The familiar snigger behind me really got on my nerves but I felt much better at the yelp that came from the same direction when my heel connected with Finn's shin

"It's not always the answer Santana," I replied shaking my hair out and trying to sound superior. "it's just a distraction from the real issues at hand."

"Fine, why don't you run your little issue by me and I'll give you the Santana solution – what were you and finnocence here squabbling about?"

"Uh," I replied now a little uncertain. Damn it! She'd challenged me and I never backed away from one of Santana's challenges. "We were discussing the appropriateness of Finn choosing to play violent and pointless video games as opposed to joining his loving girlfriend in a period of wholesome intimacy without the pressure of parental supervision."

"Uh-huh." She replied raising a brow and looking askance at Finn who now seemed to be really interested in the inside of his locker. "So here's the thing man-hands. Boys play video games to release tension. School stress, parent stress, relationship stress and here's the big one - NO-SEX stress! Offer him what he wants and see how interested he is in hanging out with two dudes who get plenty of it already." Raising an eyebrow in challenge she simply turned on her heel and sauntered off down the hallway before I had a chance to formulate a suitable reply.

"That's simplistic and completely ridiculous," I shrieked as she walked away, "You obviously know nothing about relationships, because guess what? None of yours last longer than the time it takes for a teenage boy to blow his load, zip his fly and get the hell out of whatever random location you've chosen for your hook-up!"

I heard Finn's sharp intake of breath behind me at the same moment I registered that Santana had stopped walking. As she turned slowly to face me, for a moment I felt real fear.

"Second piece of advice treasure-trail, and this one's just for you," she replied coming right up to me and speaking with deadly quiet in my ear. "You need to get off just as much as he does if you're wound up this tight over your man taking a couple of hours off to chill with his bro's. Ever heard of airing the orchid? Do a little research this afternoon and try it – I guarantee you won't care where _he_ is because you'll be busy flying to the moon all on your own."

"I hate you Santana Lopez," I screamed unable to think of a smarter comeback as she smugly sauntered off down the hall again.

"No you don't," she called back, "take my advice and you'll be thanking me tomorrow."

Stamping my foot in frustration I turned on Finn. "Don't even open your mouth, I don't even know where to begin with your behaviour in that little episode."

Finn looked kind of scared, gingerly closed his locker and slowly backed away before ducking around the corner to his next class.

Slumping against the lockers I gritted my teeth in annoyance at my own behaviour and how easily I'd let myself get riled up. When had I turned into a shrieking harpy capable of scaring the boy I loved into a cowering retreat?

But more importantly - Was Santana right? And would a little sexual release unwind the tightly coiled intensity of my very being? I mean it's not like I didn't have those feelings, I was a passionate artist after all, I just chose to focus all that pent up energy into more constructive avenues, like singing, dancing and study.

The more I thought about it though the more it made sense, and I thought about it lots during the day, to the point where I went through three classes without once raising my hand to answer a question. Good Lord, Santana was right – sex was distracting me and I wasn't even doing it. The dilemma of sex was distracting me from my school work.

And then there was Finn – things had been great since we'd been back together but we'd hit some sort of imaginary wall in the development of our intimacy. Finn was always muttering about getting tagged out stealing third. While I was very fond of metaphors I refused to think of intimacy using sports analogies and so usually ignored him but it was obviously a point of frustration, and maybe he was starting to lose patience. Yes, I freaked out whenever his hand slipped beneath my skirt, and that one time he'd snuck under and actually touched my panties I'd just about leapt off the bed in surprise, but what was I actually afraid of? I trusted Finn, I loved him and I had faith in our relationship and ability to go the distance this time. Not to mention just looking at him sometimes made my mouth go dry and my thighs clench together in anticipation of something, anything, of what I wasn't sure. In the back of my mind I knew it was sexual desire. Why couldn't I just relax and act on it? What was it that was holding me back?

The more I thought about it, the more it made sense. It wasn't lack of desire that was holding me back, it was my personality; my perfectionist nature, my need to be accomplished at everything, my ambition to always be the best in whatever I did. But sex wasn't a competition, it was an act of intimacy between two people who trusted and cared for each other. Was it the fact that I had no idea of what to do and was afraid to expose my ignorance in front of the person I loved the most? I didn't even know my own body let alone know what to do with Finn's and fumbling around on the bed had taught me very little so far but that I needed something, some kind of release, and I needed it bad. Wasn't I the one who had publicly declared in my first celibacy club meeting that girls wanted it as much as boys did?

I needed help and I knew the one person who could help me with my problem. Marching purposefully down the hall I spotted her approaching her locker from the other direction. Straightening my shoulders and lifting my head I bolstered my inner resolve preparing for what I was about to do.

"Santana?" I said my voice firm enough that she actually turned and met my eye for once, "I want you to teach me about sex."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - thanks for the reviews and comments - short chapter but next one is much longer and hope to post in the next week or so.**

**Still don't own Glee...**

**Chapter 2 - Santana's story**

Ok so I've never been a big believer in Karma, because to be honest, if I did believe in it then I might have to actually be a little bit nicer to everyone around me. I'm big enough to admit that I'm a total bitch to everyone I know, except Brittney, but that's my schtick. People expect it and I deliver, and really Karma was just a bunch of ancient Indian humbug designed to try and make people be nice to each other.

So the day that Rachel Berry walked up to me and asked for some sex therapy, I suddenly got the strange feeling that my day of reckoning had come. I might be the school's resident expert in all matters carnal; I might be open to any sexual opportunities that come my way, but this one just weirded me out way beyond my imaginings. Just the thought of trying to teach a giant and a dwarf to have sex was wrong in so many ways. Add to that the fact that said dwarf was the most annoying, obsessive, repressed and controlling person I'd ever met and that giant ball of karma was rolling towards me big time. And don't even get me started on Finn. I mean for a supposed total stud athlete he was kinda soft around the middle and his V-card should have come with a learner's permit as much as he knew about nailing a chick – I mean hadn't the guy ever watched a porno before? Two people like that shouldn't be allowed to procreate –seriously, if you were too stupid to work out how to have fun getting naked you didn't deserve to have good sex. Wasn't that like some scientific theory – _survival of the fittest_ or something? So like there was no way I was going to meddle in the natural order of things. And believe me, there was nothing natural about having those two naked together.

"No way Hobitt." I replied slamming my locker.

"Santana, this morning you made me an offer and now I'm taking you up on it – you can't just renege."

I can't what?

"What offer?" I asked impatiently. This whole conversation was doing my head in and I just wanted to get out of there and find Brittney so I could talk to someone who made sense.

"The one where you offered to assist Finn and I overcome our….. intimacy problems."

Frowning, I racked my brain trying to remember that morning's conversation. Nope, it was gone – I said a lot of stuff on the fly but I kept it real and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have made an offer like that.

"Look hobbit," I replied staring down at her while pushing my finger into the middle of her chest to make my point. "I'll pay for a motel room and a condom but I am not getting down and dirty with you two. There ain't enough sanitiser in the world would clean my eye sockets of that horror."

She just stood there looking at me, hands on hips, my finger still planted in the middle of her chest, with that determined expression on her face. It's kind of scary when she does that because you just know she'll never give up until she gets what she wants. She used to look at Finn all the time like that. Like since they broke up in December… and now it was June…and they were back together. _Crap_…

Rolling my eyes I crossed my arms in front of me in my classic defensive pose. She still hadn't moved and I kind of had to admire the fact that she wasn't intimidated at all. Besides Lauren Zieses she was pretty much the only chick at the school brave enough to stand up to me. As much as I hated Rachel Berry I had to give her props for having balls.

"Explain to me why I would even consider helping you out with this?" I asked knowing I was sliding down a slippery slope of inevitability.

Her face broke into a huge smile as she took my arm and steered me away from the traffic in the corridor around the corner so she could launch into one of her gigantic speeches.

"Santana," She began her hands pressing lightly on my forearms that were still crossed across my chest. "As you know I have two gay dads. While they are very knowledgable in the areas of safe sex and relationships in general, neither of them have ever thought about being intimate with a woman. let alone having any knowledge of the female anatomy or erogenous zones…."

_How does she manage to make sex sound so boring?_

" I considered discussing my problem with Miss Pilsbury-Howell," she rambled on, "but she doesn't seem very confident in her sexuality and from previous experience her counselling abilities are highly doubtful…. in fact they usually consist of a lot of wide-eyed nodding and a box of tissues which is not what I need at this juncture."

_She was right. Miss Pillsbury-Howell, despite being married to the finest dentist alive, still seemed to have her knees nailed together. Asking her for advice on how to get down and dirty was totally pointless._

"…and although she has offered her services as a maternal confidant, I don't feel it's at all appropriate to be discussing this with Finn's mom. So you can see Santana why I have come to you - I need hands-on expert tips that will show me how to reach my full sexual potential and you are the obvious candidate to teach me."

_Wait…did she just said hands-on? Does Berry know I like girls? She has got a hot body… in fact I would totally do her if I could get those stupid toddler clothes off and shut her up…and 5 minutes with my tongue in her pussy and she'd totally be singing a different tune…._

_Ok I need to focus here. I'm pretty sure she's not after a hook up with me, and I'm about to agree to something really gross if I can't get my mind out of her panties._

In a way I was kind of flattered that she'd asked me. I mean I wasn't known for being an expert at anything besides being a bitch and having sex so being asked to use my special skills for the greater good gave me a little confidence boost, not that I didn't know I was totally awesome already…OK Rachel's still standing here in front of me with this hopeful expression on her face, it's kind of the 'I'm so into this idea and just by staring at you with a stupid smile on my face I'm gonna convince you it's awesome too' look. And damn it if it wasn't kind of working. I could see she was totally serious about this and I know for a fact she really needs help in this department.

So what was in it for me? Aside from there being a slight chance I might be able to get her naked myself, showing her how to have enjoyable sex might actually give her another obsession besides Glee and show tunes, which would totally get her off everyone's back…and might actually let us all have a cool summer without her trying to organise rehearsal's every day. That was a win. And you know what? I'm kind of curious as to how this is going to go. I've never got my kicks in the usual way, I mean I have to be torturing someone else to really start having fun, and at the moment there were so many awesome ideas rolling around my head about how to break down Rachel Berry's frigid existence.

With a slow smile I looked down at her and nodded. A second later I had an armful of a squealing Rachel Berry who seemed to think I wanted to be hugged at this exact moment. Whatever, her boobs were pressed against mine and that was all I wanted to think about right now.

**Reviews appreciated (good and bad!)**


	3. Chapter 3

A/_N Thanks for the comments - they're very much appreciated. This beginning of this story does have quite a bit of Pezberry but Finn will make an appearance in the next couple of chapters so please be patient with me - it really is a Finchel fic but I quite like the dynamic between Rachel & santana so it's taking a little more focus just now._

_Disclaimer: Don't own Glee - just filling time til season 3 :)_

**Chapter 3 – Lesson one**

At 4.23 pm that afternoon, Santana Lopez fronted up to Rachel Berry's modest suburban home on the lower side of Lima Heights. Her own house was only a couple of blocks away and she could have actually been there way closer to the 4pm that Rachel had requested but she'd never been that obliging. Besides that she kind of needed a little bit of time to actually think about this. She'd always been a 'fly by the seat of her pants' kind of girl but she needed a strategy if she was going to get maximum value out of this ridiculous proposition. If there was one thing she did like about Rachel Berry (besides her hot ass), it was the outrageous reactions she always managed to get from her. Shocking her was almost too easy, but still plenty enjoyable, and this ridiculous idea of Rachel's just opened up so many opportunities.

Rachel answered the door almost before she even knocked, making Santana think she must have been eagerly watching for her arrival.

"I'm so glad you came Santana," she said in that bossy tone that drove the other girl insane as she dragged her inside. Santana said nothing, merely rolled her eyes as Rachel continued to talk.

"I've taken the opportunity of preparing some materials to assist us which you may care to peruse."

Santana looked down at the bundle of laminated sheets that were suddenly thrust into her hand, almost dropping them as she looked in horror at what was on them. Scientific drawings of the male and female anatomy where clearly illustrated with Latin text labelling of the important parts. Dear God, she thought, only Rachel Berry would go to the science textbook to learn about sex.

"In the meantime can I offer you some refreshment?" Rachel continued, " I've prepared myself a herbal tea to relax me, it may help the process a little…."

"Do you have any scotch?" Santana muttered under breath as she threw the laminates carelessly on the kitchen counter.

Rachel's jaw dropped. "Ok you are not getting trashed on my father's liquor supply. We have work to do and I believe we both need our faculties if we are going to get through this…."

"Chillax Berry," Santana scoffed leaning casually against the counter eyeing her companion up and down. "This is not some science project and we ain't working to a deadline."

Rachel nodded a little uncertainly, bowed but undeterred. "Ok, I thought some diagrams might help, I know we've covered most of it personal development classes but you know a refresher is always constructive…."

Santana didn't reply, instead went to the fridge, pulled a beer and popped the top, taking a long swig as she held Rachel's eye. The other girls jaw dropped in shock and Santana could practically see the horrified thoughts racing through her mind. Just as Rachel opened her mouth to protest the liberty that had been taken, Santana raised her hand as a warning not to speak and for once Rachel took heed, merely closing her mouth in a thin line of disapproval, her mutinous look telling Santana clearly that she was losing patience.

"Ok," Santana began taking another long swig of beer as she pushed off the counter and got up close to Rachel pointing a finger into her chest. "This is how this is going to go. I talk and you shut the hell up. No diagrams, no arguments, no protests about my methods – okay?"

Rachel nodded silently, now looking somewhat intimidated.

"Good," the other girl replied backing off a little as she looked Rachel up and down and slowly licked her lips. "Ok let's start in your bedroom – I need to see what I'm working with here."

Santana sauntered out of the kitchen heading down the corridor where she presumed the bedrooms lay. Rachel followed nervously, now more than a little uncertain of the wisdom of engaging Santana Lopez in any kind of advisory capacity. And if she wasn't mistaken, the last look she'd thrown her had been a little…predatory?

"Oh…My…Fucking ….God!" Santana stated as she stopped dead in the doorway of Rachel's room. "Well it's no wonder…"

"No wonder what?" Rachel replied somewhat affronted.

"No wonder you called in my expert services," she replied dryly turning to stare at Rachel as she held a hand out toward the room in front of them. "OK first rule of sex? You've got to feel sexy to feel comfortable doing it, and if you and lover boy have been trying to get your mac on in this patchwork and plush toy kingdom I'm not surprised you've been coming up short. I mean by the time you two wade through the army of care bear's staking out the bed I'm not surprised you're losing that loving feeling. Seriously - how old are you?" Santana asked rhetorically.

"Uh…16?" Rachel squeaked.

"Going on 5…" Santana muttered strolling around the room before laying casually back on the bed an arm behind her head as she crossed her legs comfortably.

Rachel merely stood in the doorway unsure what to do. Santana was giving her that look again and she was starting to get a little uncomfortable.

"Next up - personal stylings – show me what you got Berry," Santana said nodding towards her.

"I'm sorry?" Rachel asked confused.

"Show me what you got – I needs to see what's hiding under those ridiculous toddler clothes. You needs to get your _personal_ sexual ambience happening if you're gonna start feeling it baby and I need to know what I'm working with so I can plan."

Rachel's eyes widened and Santana had to work hard to suppress her amusement at the reaction she'd gotten.

"I am not stripping to my underwear in front of you Santana." Rachel stated, her eyes narrowing as she looked at the other girl suspiciously. "This is not just some ploy to seduce me is it? If it is you may as well give up now because I am here to learn how to improve my relationship with Finn, not have sex with you."

Santana snorted and rolled her eyes pushing herself up off the bed to come and stand directly in front of the other girl. Leaning forward until her face was mere inches from Rachel's she spoke slowly as she looked her up and down. "For the record man-hands – If I was trying to seduce you you'd be flat on your back already screaming my name. So don't get your panties in a twist, just show me where you keep 'em…."

Rachel sputtered in outrage as Santana meandered about the room randomly opening drawers.

"Santana!" She yelled following her and slamming the drawers as she opened each one. "This is a gross invasion of my privacy."

The other girl turned to her and laughed. "And you thought inviting me to be your personal sex therapist wasn't going to end up with me knowing your private business inside out? Honey you are seriously deluded."

"Fine!" Rachel squeaked, "I'll show you my underwear."

"Now we're getting somewhere!" she exclaimed throwing herself back on the bed comfortably. "You know it's nothing I haven't seen before treasure trail, and if it makes you feel any better I'll show you mine first?"

"That won't be necessary," Rachel replied her tone clipped. "Let's just get this over with." And with that she disappeared into the bathroom re-emerging moments later wearing a neck to knee robe pulled tightly about her. Santana had to make a real effort to remove the amused smirk from her face about how wound up she'd managed to get the small diva.

"Open up," she said slowly with an encouraging look on her face. When Rachel just stood there with a mutinous look on her face Santana rolled her eyes and pulled herself to the edge of the bed as if she was going to do it herself. Rachel backed up into the dresser and Santana sat smirking on the edge of the bed. "Seriously Berry if you are this frigid with Finn we have a loooooong road ahead of us."

Rachel looked up and met her eye with a conflicted expression and what looked like the start of tears. For a brief instant Santana felt sorry for her. She'd hit a real nerve with that last one and for possibly the first time in her life she backed off. It must have taken some guts for the other girl to not only admit she had a problem but to come to her sworn enemy and ask for help.

"Rachel," she said gently looking her in the eye, "I am not going to eat you."

"You are laughing at me though…"

"There's gotta be something in it for me," she replied rolling her eyes as she leant back on her hands before looking her companion in the eye. "Look, even though I'm getting my kicks out of this I promise that I will help you."

"You will?" Rachel said hopefully.

Santana nodded and patted the bed beside her. Rachel took a seat, her hands twisting nervously in the folds of the robe. "That's the first time you've actually used my name you know…" she said quietly.

"Yeah? well don't tell anyone," Santana replied nudging her gently, "I have a rep to maintain."

Rachel smiled, wiping a tear from her cheek. They sat in silence for a long minute before Santana spoke again.

"Let me ask you a question - Why do you want to have sex?"

"Well Finn and I are together again and this time we're going to make it last. I love him and I feel that we've reached the point in our relationship when we can make a deeper connection through physical intimacy."

"Ok," Santana said frowning, "let me rephrase that. What are _you_ expecting to get out of sex."

"I….I want to work on our relationship. I mean we're much closer now than when we were together last year and we've made a commitment to each other so I feel like we should back that up by giving each other something of ourselves."

"Ok not to burst your bubble here Berry but I think you know Finn already gave me his and it wasn't that great a prize."

"I know that Santana," Rachel said meeting her eye, "but I still want that special connection with him even if I'm not his first."

Santana sighed, leaning back a little as she considered her words. "You know what? You need to stop idealising sex and keep it real. When you don't know what you're doing sex is messy and uncomfortable and it hurts, especially the first time. If it's just about gluing a relationship together you're coming at it all wrong. Yeah sex can make things better and give you that special bond but you've gotta have the rest going on first."

"I feel like we have that though, and…and I know I'm ready…" Rachel said

Santana nodded looking at the other girl doubtfully. "You know what? I don't think you are." Rachel frowned at her but she continued on. "If you can't stand in front of me and show me your underwear how are you going to feel being naked with a guy? You need to get comfortable with your own body before you try anything with someone elses."

Rachel pondered this before nodding, her eyes on the hands that fidgeted in her lap before she suddenly leapt up and stood in front of the other girl. With her eyes on the ceiling and a determined expression on her face she quickly unbelted the robe and pulled it aside leaving her exposed to the other girls perusal. Santana let out a snort of laughter as she took in the mutinous expression on Rachel's face that was also tinged liberally with a bright red blush of embarrassment.

A second later and Rachel's hands dropped to her hips in anger, her eyes automatically meeting the other girl's, all embarrassment now gone. "We can't all look like cheerleaders Santana…"

"Got that right stubbles, but Frankenteens no Tom Brady either." Santana raised an eyebrow in challenge before deliberately dropping her eyes from Rachel's face to peruse what the other girl had been hiding. "Woah…" she muttered obviously stunned, "Fuck me Berry…."

"No thankyou," She replied primly at which Santana snorted with laughter again. "Look I know my underwear is a little out of date but there is no need to be rude. You did say I need to be comfortable in my own body and this is NOT helping."

"Seriously Berry that's not what I meant." Santana replied laughing. "Babe, you've been holding out. I mean yeah, you're underwear looks like it came from the kiddy section of Target and you're still wearing a pre-teen training bra but your body is totally smokin'."

"Really?"

"Yeah, you're like a total freak of nature – who would have thought a midget could have legs that long."

Rachel rolled her eyes at the other girl. "Ok I totally walked into that one. Do you ever say anything nice?"

"What? I just did." Santana replied defensively. "What do you want me to say? That if I was a dude I'd have a major boner right now?"

"God no! That's so crass – the thought of inciting an erection in a random male does not make me feel comfortable in my sexuality..."

"Well if it makes you feel any better," Santana shrugged, "I think I just left a wet spot on your bedspread…."

"Ewwwwww…." Rachel squealed in horror.

By this stage Santana was rolling on the bed in laughter at the other girl's reactions although she thought she was beginning to detect a hint of a smile. More importantly though was the fact that Rachel had been standing in her underwear for the last five minutes without a hint of embarrassment. That was progress.

Wiping her eyes of the tears of amusement she contained herself long enough to sit up on the edge of the bed again. Rachel stood there patiently a slight smile on her face and hands still on hips holding the robe aside. Strangely, and despite all Santana's teasing, she now felt quite comfortable standing exposed before her. The Latina was nothing if not honest and her obtuse compliment did wonders for her confidence. Her methods were unorthodox but they seemed to be working.

"Ok so are we done now?" she said eventually.

"Almost," Santana replied standing up and taking a step towards Rachel. Before the other girl had a chance to react she'd hooked a finger in the top of her panties and pulled them forward, looking down at what lay inside.

"Santana!" Rachel shrieked slapping her hand away.

"huh…no treasure trail either. Who'd have thought…." The other girl replied as she sauntered out of the room.

Rachel looked at the ceiling, stamped her foot and emitted a restrained scream before belting the robe and following her out. For some reason she had a strange feeling that things were going to get a _lot_ worse before they got better.

_If you enjoyed my writing please review!_


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N Little bit slow getting this chapter done but I've been a bit busy with work and life in general. Will try and be more prompt in future! Thanks heaps for the awesome reviews – definitely inspires me to write quicker so don't be afraid to leave your thoughts. Next chapter has lots of Finn for those doubting this was actually a Finchel fic! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, just borrowing the characters**

**Chapter 4 **

Rachel trailed reluctantly behind Santana as she marched around the Lime heights mall, huffing and rolling her eyes at every stop and false turn they made – and there were plenty of them. The Latina had been coy about their reasons for the spontaneous shopping trip when she'd announced it at lunchtime, giving Rachel a 'because I freakin' said so' when she'd queried the purpose. How this related to learning about sex Rachel had no idea but she followed blindly along knowing she was unlikely to get any more detail from her companion who seemed to know exactly where she was going. She'd already been told several times not to question her methods, and the half dozen attempts at trying to fathom what she had in mind had gotten her nowhere. Knowing Santana she'd half expected to end up in a sex shop but as it was they eventually came to a halt in the middle of the Manchester section of Target. Handing Rachel a shopping trolley the Latina walked around perusing the various items on display, casually throwing in sheets sets, pillows, throws and any other item that caught her eye. Every time Rachel opened her mouth to speak, Santana raised her hand demanding silence, causing the now familiar eye roll of exasperation. When the trolley was full, Santana pointed Rachel towards the cashier putting her hands on her hips and raising an eyebrow silently daring the smaller girl to challenge her direction. Rachel merely turned on her heel and did as she was told, slapping her debit card on the counter and crossing her arms in frustration, knowing this little expedition was going to leave a fairly large dent in her allowance savings.

After depositing the purchases in the car with several muttered protests from Rachel, Santana calmly turned on her heel and walked back into the mall. This time they came to a halt inside a small beautician's parlour where Rachel was handed a laminated sheet which caused her jaw to drop and her expression to turn from confusion to horror. For the first time since lunchtime Santana spoke as she casually dropped into one of the waiting room chairs, magazine in hand. Nodding at the sheet that Rachel now held at arms length she ordered, "Pick a look Yentl, and don't bother arguing because we are not leaving 'til that beaver has had a trim."

Rachel looked in horror at the various 'do's' displayed before her –American, French, brazillian, and various other interpretations of the same most of which she'd never heard or dreamed of (including a completely bizarre style known as 'the moustache' which bore a remarkable similarity to a German dictator's upper lip decoration.)

"I…I…I…." she stuttered trying to make a coherent protest while getting over the shock of what she was presented with.

"Yep, that's what this is all about - you, you, you. So quit arguing, pick a look and get on with it." When Rachel didn't move, Santana rolled her eyes. "Seriously?" she queried with mock patience. "It's just like getting a haircut – if you don't like it it will eventually grow back. Although," she conceded with a slight smile, "it is a little more painful than your usual trip to the salon…."

Adding a new aspect to the whole scenario, Rachel's face fell further. Santana deliberately dismissed her companion to her own thoughts, focusing her attention back on her magazine. Rachel dropped her eyes and pondered the sheet in front of her with her usual intense scrutiny. So absorbed was she in looking at the various drawings and reading the explanatory detail that she completely missed the amused expression that had overtaken Santana's face as she eyed her over the top of her magazine.

Rachel Berry was a pain in the arse but even Santana had to admit that she was freakin' hilarious. Shaking up her staid little existence was the most fun she'd had in ages –the range of looks that passed across her face as she read through the various options in bikini line maintenance made it really difficult to keep a straight face.

She knew exactly when she'd resigned herself to the idea by the deep inhalation she took as the familiar Rachel Berry look of determination settled across her face. Turning on her heel she marched behind the curtain separating the waiting room from the clinician's area. Twenty minutes and several painful screams later she emerged with a stiff walk and the remnants of tears in her eyes. Calmly placing her now battered debit card on the counter she shook her hair out, lifted her chin and straightened her back as she smiled politely at the assistant who returned the look a little strangely. Santana eyed her curiously, feeling that strange sense of admiration and sympathy that she'd experienced the previous afternoon in Rachel's bedroom. Shaking her head at how soft she was becoming she threw the magazine down before hooking her arm through the other girls, dragging her out of the salon and gruffly insisting that she needed coffee and ice cream before she made the other girl spend any more money.

Letting Rachel direct her to a small bakery that supplied a good selection of vegan cakes she ordered a soy latte for them both before settling back in a booth at the rear of the shop. She smiled almost fondly as she watched Rachel grill the hapless waitress for at least ten minutes on the ingredients of the various baked goods, questioning whether they were organic or non-organic and whether they really were vegan before instead settling for a plain raspberry gelato. High maintenance didn't even begin to describe Rachel Berry, and she almost laughed out loud when she considered what Finn Hudson was up against in trying to satisfy someone with such exacting standards. Her amusement turned quickly to a considering frown as the idea suddenly struck her – if she was going to teach Rachel have to have good sex, then she was probably going to have to teach Finn as well…

"Honestly," Rachel huffed as she sat down, breaking Santana out of her thoughts, "is it too much to expect that a purveyor of baked goods should be able to provide even the simplest ingredients list?"

Santana merely shrugged indicating that she could care less, keeping an eye on her companion as she carefully arranged her gelato and coffee in an elaborate ritual that took her several minutes to get exactly right.

"Do you ever do anything spontaneous?" Santana asked her suddenly, "Like completely just spur of the moment, what the hell, I want to do this because it feels good and I don't care if it's not freakin perfect?"

Rachel looked at her with a puzzled expression on her face before shaking her head. "I…I guess I'm just not that kind of person. I know I can be controlling and a little regimented in my ideas, which is probably the reason why I have sought your assistance but I don't feel comfortable unless I'm absolutely certain I know what I'm doing in any given situation. Which is why _this_," she waved her hand airily indicating the space between them, "is so frustratingly difficult."

Santana merely nodded, her eyes narrowing slightly as she waited for Rachel to continue.

"Whilst I very much appreciate you taking the time to assist me, to be honest I'm still not entirely certain I can trust you. I…I know you promised me yesterday you would help me, and I'm trying very much to have faith in your better nature, but it's extremely difficult for me to just follow blindly when there doesn't seem to be any rhyme or reason to what we are doing."

Santana downed the rest of her latte, before looking Rachel straight in the eye in her usual no-nonsense manner.

"It's called a makeover Rapunzel. I'm trying to jailbreak you out of that ivory tower you've been hanging out in…"

"But doesn't a makeover usually involve a rejuvenation of my makeup and clothing styles?" Rachel queried confused.

"Not the Santana Lopez version," she stated. Rachel's eyes narrowed a little in mistrust causing the other girl to throw her hands up in mock defense. "Hey - if you wanted a beauty queen makeover you should have gone to Quinn Fabray. Come on Berry, one more stop…"

Standing, she shook out her skirt with a wiggle that drew the eye of the pre-pubescent teen sitting behind them whose eyes were now popping out of his head. Although the idea of men leering at her held little appeal, Rachel briefly wondered if she'd ever feel that comfortable in her own body. She got it now; the bedroom furnishings, the bikini wax – she was getting a makeover of a different kind. With a resigned sigh, she stood and followed Santana out knowing that the pain wasn't over yet.

Ten minutes later and Rachel found herself deep inside the intimates section of Victoria's Secret, surrounded by tiny scraps of lace of every colour imaginable. She tried not to touch the skimpy items while trying to cool the blush from her face. Given that she'd never ventured out of the plain cotton, junior teen section of Target it was eye opening to say the least. As she looked around at the other customers she wondered why she was the only one that looked embarrassed to be here.

Santana rolled her eyes for what had to be the hundredth time that day. "Honestly it's not that hard Snow White, pick a couple of things and go try them on. They don't bite…."

"They're just….not exactly my style," Rachel finished awkwardly.

"They'll never be your style if you don't try them and see…."

Santana wandered off leaving Rachel to study the items before her in peace. After ten minutes of careful examination she eventually worked up the nerve to select a couple of different styles, a very racy bra and thong set in deep mauve and a more conservative pink lace bra and boy short set.

"Which one do you think Finn will like?" Rachel asked Santana nervously holding the thong at arms length like it was going to give her crabs.

"Seriously?" Santana queried with a raised brow. "Finn gets a raging boner looking at your ridiculous plaid skirts and knee socks. This stuff isn't for him."

Rachel gasped, hurriedly looking around to see if anyone had overhead them. "That's offensive and completely ridiculous!"

"Is it?" Santana smirked.

Rachel frowned, pushing that thought aside.

Santana placed a hand on her shoulder gently pushing the other girl towards the change rooms. "Look I'll give you a tip here – teenage boys are idiots when it comes to sex and if they can get you down to your underwear they're pretty much satisfied. You're the one wearing it so pick something that makes you feel sexy and comfortable – it's really simple so don't over complicate it trying to please anyone else."

"Right," Rachel replied with a determined nod marching off towards the change rooms.

A half hour later and Santana was completely bored. Her amusement with watching Rachel shop for lingerie had lasted all of 5 minutes, the last twenty five had been spent sprawled in one of the shop lounges sexting Britt until the other girls credit had run out. Rolling her eyes she looked at her watch then over at the change room door. With a frown she realised she'd been a little too literal in her advice because Rachel must have tried on _every_ set in the store by now trying to find the one she felt most comfortable in. With a huff she stood and stomped towards the change rooms, giving the attendant her patented death stare when the young girl queried how many items she had to try on. Breezing past her she opened each of the doors, leaving a series of gasps and shrieks in her wake, until she found Rachel tucked in the very end change room.

Examining herself in front of the mirror she automatically put her hands up to cover her breasts and crotch when she caught sight of Santana's impatient frown over her shoulder in the mirror. Realising this left her backside half exposed in the 'cheeky' style panties she was currently wearing she turned to face her interloper. With her front still safely covered, she only realised a half minute later that Santana was now staring over her shoulder at the reflection in the mirror – at her half-exposed butt!

"Do you mind?" Rachel huffed.

"Not at all actually," Santana replied with an admiring glance, "that one looks good on you, although if you want to get the whole T & A thing happening you may want to try a push up bra. Your ass is totally hot but …"

"It's not my style," Rachel interjected firmly before the other girl could finish her thought.

"Making mountains out of molehills is not your style?" Santana queried with a raised eyebrow.

"Very funny Santana," Rachel huffed her hands automatically going to her hips in protest. Santana wore a deliberately bored expression as she leaned casually against the door frame while surreptitiously eyeing the other girl up and down, enjoying the now unobstructed view. As her eyes passed over the sheer panties Rachel wore a curious frown crossed her features, her eyes narrowing as they zeroed in curiously on the near see-through pink underwear. With the transparency of the material it was easy enough to make out the dark shadow of her now neatly trimmed pubic hair behind it, and what Santana saw definitely made her do a double take. There wasn't much in this world that shocked the Latina, but what she saw in that small change room had her smiling with surprised amusement.

"Fuck me Berry," she snorted, "Please tell me you didn't…"

Rachel, who had until then been looking at the ceiling in annoyance, redirected her eyes to Santana, who she realised was staring directly at her crotch. Refusing to be bowed by the other girls now familiar tactics and still annoyed at the invasion of privacy, she maintained her pose, hands still firmly on hips as she leaned towards the other girl her words laced with typical Rachel Berry diva attitude.

"Didn't you say this was all about me? I merely took your advice and went for what makes _me_ feel comfortable _and_ sexy. It may be a little unusual by your standards…."

"A freakin' star?" she replied now chuckling with amusement, "did she dye it gold for you as well? How the hell did they even manage it?"

Rachel eyed the other girl who was now nearly doubled over with laughter. "Not without significant negotiation and some strong direction," she answered, a small smile now playing at her own lips. "Honestly, I thought beauty salon attendants would be a little more broadminded…."

Santana eventually straightened, wiping tears from her eyes as her laughter subsided. Raising a hand in Rachel's direction the other girl took a long moment to comprehend what it meant before she awkwardly but enthusiastically returned the offered 'high 5'.

"I've got to hand it to you Berry," Santana said with respect in her tone, "you may be a slow starter but once you get into it you don't do anything by halves. Finn Hudson better bring his A game by the time we're finished."

**Reviews very much appreciated (good and bad!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N – Apologies for the delay, it's been a hectic couple of weeks of work so haven't had much scribbling time. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, just using the characters.**

**Chapter 5**

**Finn's POV**

People always tell me I'm not the sharpest crayon in the box, which is totally cool because crayons aren't meant to be sharp right? They're all blunt on the end, but they still make awesome drawings. So yeah I know I'm kind of dumb sometimes, especially when it comes to girls, but that doesn't mean I always get it wrong.

Not this time though – Halo marathon on Wednesday? Total mistake.

I've been with Rachel long enough to know when I'm in the doghouse, and yeah since I haven't seen or spoken to her since our 'discussion' two days ago, I know I'm totally bunking in with Rover. No late night phone calls, no texts, just total cell silence - a pretty good sign she's still pissed. But you know it's been 2 days and according to Puck's calculations I'm pretty close to the end of the girl tantrum window ….except Rachel's girl tantrum's always last that little bit longer than most other girls…..

Anyway, in hindsight it was kind of lame to play Halo instead of hanging with my girl but Arties still totally depressed about Brittney and Puck's been ragging on me for a week that we need a post-nationals/post football season 'bro-time' bonding session so it seemed like the right thing to do. Besides, it's not like I'm missing anything I can't get at any other time of the day, right?

Obviously Rachel doesn't see it that way - with chicks it's always about 'the principle'. After dating her and Quinn, the two most intense girls in school, I should totally know better. Sometimes I wish every action didn't have to have a point or a principle, sometimes I wish you could do something just because. Like sex, and all that stuff. Case in point - things have stalled with Rachel since we've been back together, in the physical department. And I'm cool with that, really I am. I'm not some cave man that's gonna pressure my girl when she's not ready. I know it'll happen…._eventually_….I just kind of wish she'd get the idea of 'boundaries' out of her head and cut loose a little.

I mean we're closer than ever the third time around, and I'm pretty sure neither of us want to _ever_ break up again, and we're totally on the same page with all the emotional honesty stuff, like she's always talking about when we get married and have babies and stuff…. But whenever I try to step things up a bit she totally freezes. We'll be in the middle of a hot make-out session, and Rachel's into it (like _reeeeeally_ into it, way more than Quinn ever was), and then as soon as I step off second base she completely switches off like someone has just thrown a bucket of cold water over us. It's totally doing my head in, not to mention turning my balls blue and I'm completely stumped about how to get her to relax. It's like there's a force field around her, an invisible line I'm just not allowed to cross. I know I'm not that experienced so I'm kind of stuck about what to do next. Puck's no help, he just told me to man up and feel her up already, 'cos chicks love that stuff. And he's right, Rachel does – I mean she's fully into it when I touch her boobs through her sweater, so wouldn't like touching them without the clothes be _so_ much better? Apparently not….

Anyway, that's where I'm at Friday lunchtime, after wasting half of lunch period and a fair chunk of my phone credit I've finally tracked her down to the school library. _Seriously, she must be really avoiding me 'cos not even Rachel Berry would study the last week of school…._

"Come on Rach," I pleaded after about 5 solid minutes of grovelling and apologising, "I'll skip football practise this afternoon. If this is still about the Halo thing then I already said I was sorry. You were right, I should have just come to your place instead of hanging out with Puck and Artie. "

She eventually looked up and smiled before refocusing on the pile of books in front of her.

"Really it's fine Finn, while I'm very flattered that you consider me a higher priority than football, although still less than video games, I'm just not available this afternoon so feel free to make another play date with the boys."

_Definitely still pissed…_

"It wasn't a play date," I grumbled, "besides Puck and Artie are busy."

"Oh OK," she replied distractedly, patting me on the knee, "well maybe Kurt and Blaine can play 'halo of duty' with you?"

"it's CALL of duty," I sighed, "and that ain't gonna happen unless Kurt gets to design the fatigues."

She didn't answer, still focused on the books in front of her. Deciding to try a different tactic I nuzzled my nose into the side of her neck like I know she loves, then placed soft kisses along her collarbone as I inched my seat closer. "C'mon babe," I whispered against her skin, "we haven't made out all week. I miss you and won't your dad's be home late tonight?"

"That's correct," she replied and I totally could've high-5'd myself then because she leaned in and kissed me lightly as she answered.

"Finn it's not that I don't want to, it's just that I have another commitment."

"With who?" I asked suspiciously my hands reaching around her waist to pull her closer. "If it's Jesse St butthead I swear I'm gonna break his legs."

"It's not Jesse, and you are not going to break anyone's legs." she replied matter-of-factly as if she was speaking to a child.

_Damn I hate that tone…reminds me of my kindergarten teacher…_

"It's Santana."

My hands dropped automatically and I turned her seat so she was fully facing me. "_What_? Why?"

"She's helping me with a project."

_This can't be good…_

"What kind of a project?"

"Just a project - does it matter?"

"What is it like for school or Glee or something? No, wait...the school year's nearly over - we've finished all our assignments already."

"Finn, relax." She replied putting her hands on either side of my face. "She's helping me with a personal project. There is nothing for you to be worried about."

_NOT worry?_

"Rach she hates you, scratch that, she hates you and likes torturing you for fun."

She smiled, reaching over and hugging me close. "I love you, and I love that you're looking out for me, but I'm fine. Come over on Saturday and I'll tell you all about it."

"Babe I can't," I groaned. "I have to go sign-up and do my coaches training for peewee football camp this weekend. I'm never gonna get to see you…"

"Finn we have all summer," she replied kissing me lightly on the forehead as I leaned dejectedly against her shoulder, "there's only one more week of school and then we can spend all our time together."

"Yeah but I want to see you this week - Can't you change your plans with Santana? It can't be that important."

Rachel gave me _that_ look and I knew the answer before she even opened her mouth. Whatever it was it was important to her and once she'd decided on something there was no changing her mind.

"I'm not changing my plans Finn. I appreciate that sometimes our friends are more important than being with our loved ones…"

"Ugh," I groaned, "so this is still about Wednesday, I get it."

Smiling, she kissed me lightly on the lips as if trying to kill my building frustration, something that really wasn't going to work at this point.

"Just be patient and we will have plenty of time together, I promise," she whispered in my ear, her hand squeezing my thigh. "I really want to finish off this project and then I'll be totally free to focus on us."

There was something in the way she looked at me just then that was different. I was totally tuned in to the catalogue of Rachel Berry facial expressions by now, and I'm pretty sure this was one I hadn't seen before. It was kind of….hot.

I was so surprised by it that it took me a minute to register what she did then, which was like totally scalding….

Leaning in she brushed her lips along my neck neck lightly before latching her teeth onto my earlobe. "I love you and I miss you too Finn," she whispered, the sensation of hot breath on sensitive skin sending my hormones into fifth gear , "but I promise the wait will be worth it."

And then she squeezed my thigh again, a little higher up, her eyes dropping to my lap for a brief moment before she licked her lips and pressed them against the super-sensitive spot beneath my jaw.

_Woah….did she just check out my junk? Man – she usually ignores stuff like that and here I am with a major boner. _

"Mmmmm," I hummed, turning my lips into hers to distract her attention as I slid my hand along her jaw and into the hair at the nape of her neck. "It better be because right now I just wanna drag you down into the reference section and do some research babe."

Yeah that was pretty lame but when she giggled and returned the kiss enthusiastically I could have totally fist pumped the air.

_Totally out of the doghouse Hudson, I am THE MAN! _

Now I just need to find out what the hell Santana is up to….

* * *

><p>"Santana," I practically yelled finally tracking her down at the lockers after last period. "What the hell is going on with you and Rachel?"<p>

Santana turned, leaning her hip against the lockers as she looked me up and down before raising an eyebrow in challenge. "Why don't you ask your _girlfriend_?"

_Why did she say 'girlfriend' like that? She's totally trying to break us up, I knew it!_

"I did - she just said you were working on some stupid project."

"Firstly, it's totally _not_ stupid, and secondly, if she won't tell you then it's none of your freakin business," she replied turning back to face the open locker in front of her.

I slammed my hand on the metal door next to her to get her attention. "It's _my_ business when you start hanging out with _my_ girl," I said with quiet menace. "You've caused nothing but trouble between me and Rachel so don't blame me if I don't trust you Santana."

"Like I care?" she replied rolling her eyes. "Besides you'll be totally thanking me when we're done – you're life's about to get a whole lot more awesome and it'll be all because of me."

_Is the talking about a threesome? No way…Rachel would never go for it...although that would be pretty cool…._

I stood there staring at her suspiciously until she turned half-snorting with laughter. "What, you think you can read my mind captain Fintastic?"

_Dammit – that's kind of what I had been doing…._

Sometimes I really wanted to punch Santana, not that I would ever hit a girl, but she was so damn annoying. Looking anywhere but at her to hide my frustration it was only then that I registered what she was up to.

"Hey! Why are you in Rachel's locker?" I shouted just as she slammed the door shut.

"Homework," she stated pushing a finger into my chest as she turned to face me, "so butt out."

I gave her what I thought was a menacing look until she rolled her eyes and stepped around me giving a little wave as she sauntered off smugly.

I was so angry I didn't even know Rachel was beside me until I felt the vibration of her locker door as it swung open again.

"What a lovely surprise," she said standing on tip-toe to kiss my cheek, her hand resting lightly on my arm. "I really appreciate your commitment in waiting here for me Finn, I thought you might still have been a little upset after lunch but I'm very pleased that you're big enough to overcome your disappointment at not seeing me this afternoon."

"Oh…no, it's cool," I stumbled taken completely off guard.

_Wow, if she really knew the reason I was standing here I'd be so back in that doghouse_.

"I..uh..just you know, wanted to catch you before you went home. 'Cos like we probably won't even see each other this weekend."

_Way to think on the spot Hudson!_

"You really are a very good boyfriend Finn," she said putting her arms around me, hugging me tightly as her head rested against my chest. Dropping my head I pressed my lips against her hair as I put my arms around her.

_Ok this is good, let's just go with it. Mmmmmm…she's so soft and warm and she' s only wearing that little sundress today and her belly is pressed right up against me. _

_Damn, not again! She's got to be able to feel that. _

_Wait…did she just deliberately wiggle against me?_

_Oh God she's doing it again…_

_It feels real good but…..damn Rach,….MAILMAN!_

**Reviews very much appreciated – it inspires me to write faster!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N – apologies for the delay on this chapter – felt like it was missing something so added the whole bit at the beginning and then it just kind of got away from me and felt like the rest kind of didn't fit! Hate it when that happens ****Still not entirely happy with it but if I don't post it I might never get to the next chapter. I realise this story jumps around a bit and I feel like I'm probably going into waaaay too much detail at the risk of nothing happening but once my muse gets a hold it kind of runs away with me. The Rachel/Santana dynamic just gets a hold of me sometimes.**

**Also have to apologise for some plot bunnies out there which people made comments on – yes Finn probably has finished football for the year but I don't live in the US so don't really know how school works there. I just figured coach Bieste is kind of hard core so she'd train them all year round if she could. Either way substitute basketball for football if that's the summer sport or try to ignore it **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, just using the characters.**

**Chapter 6**

**The previous afternoon….**

"See? It doesn't have to look like a bordello to be hot." Santana said, standing back to admire her handywork. "Damn I'm good - I would totally own a lifestyle show…."

"You're right Santana, it's very tasteful," Rachel replied admiring the new furnishings and muted lighting in her room before turning almost eagerly to her companion. "So what's next?"

"Slow down Berry – we've just given you a makeover. Relax, settle in and explore your sexuality a little bit," she replied throwing herself across the bed, propping her head up on one hand as she eyed Rachel.

"Santana you are very attractive but I already told you I'm not interested in casual hook-ups,…"

"Not what I meant Princess," the other girl laughed, "but come see me when you and Frankenteen break up again."

Rachel frowned and started to protest, before Santana cut her off with a single raised finger. "I'm joking - What I meant was getting in touch with your sexual urges."

Rachel nodded in understanding before seating herself on the edge of the bed next to the Latina. There was a long stretch of silence as Rachel considered this and Santana could see she was struggling with the notion.

"So what happens when you're making out?" she prompted patting the cushions beside her inviting Rachel to lay back against the plethora of pillows that now adorned her bed. She did so, wondering briefly how the hell she had ended up lying cosily on her bed with Santana Lopez having _this_ conversation.

"Ummm, the usual I guess, lots of cuddling and kissing…"

"_Boring_," the latina interrupted with a fake yawn.

"It's not all about sex," Rachel replied primly, "Finn makes me feel loved and cherished."

Santana made a fake vomiting motion. "I rest my case. Look I know Finnocence has all the sex appeal of a cabbage patch doll, I've totally been there…."

"if you intend to just ridicule my boyfriend we will get nowhere fast." Rachel chastised. "And I can assure you that regardless of your opinion _I_ find him sexually attractive."

"Really?" Santana queried with a raised brow. "Hmmmm, well either your boy's not very good at tapping into that, which is entirely possible, or you're completely missing the point of making out, which is also entirely possible…"

"Look I know I'm not good at this," Rachel huffed, quickly losing patience, "that's why we're here, What's your point?"

"My point is - You love him, you think he's hot, you're both pumped full of teen hormones so why are you not getting all '_I want to jump your bones and ride you till the cows come home'_ excited?"

"_SANTANA!"_

"What?"

"Must you be so coarse?"

"It's a valid question"

Rachel rolled her eyes and looked to the heavens. There was a long moment of silence before she replied. "I..I just get nervous. I don't know what I'm doing and I know I don't look like you or Quinn. I just….I just don't want Finn to be disappointed. I think I just get so caught up worrying about what he's thinking that sometimes I forget to think about myself."

"Ok that is completely ridiculous," Santana snorted. "That boy has a hard-on for you like I've never seen before and trust me, he ain't looking at anyone else. In fact I'm pretty sure he was moaning your name in the thirty Nano-seconds it took for him to blow his load in that hotel room last year..."

Rachel put her hands over her ears, closed her eyes tightly and made a show of singing loudly to block out Santana's words.

"Fine," the Latina replied raising her hands in defeat as she lay back on the bed chuckling. When the noise died down, Santana sat up and looked the other girl in the eye seriously.

"You know you have no reason to feel that way, you totally have his nuts in your purse already so even if you're the worst lay in the world he'll still be doing cartwheels over the moon when he finally pops your cherry."

"That's not making me feel any better," Rachel replied narrowing her eyes before straightening her spine and shaking out her hair. "Besides Rachel Berry never gives anything less than a stellar performance, and she will not enter into anything until she is capable of doing just that, regardless of how indiscriminate her partner may be!"

"That's my girl," Santana replied laughing as she got up to leave. "Look I'm not saying you need to do anything yet, we've made a few changes so take some time to get used to it. Push the envelope a little, don't be afraid to get turned on, just relax, take a chill pill and go with the flow. Get used to what it feels like…."

* * *

><p>Which brought Rachel to the point she was at now, standing in the hallway at school locked in Finn's embrace.<p>

She eventually pulled away looking up at him curiously, a slight frown creasing her brow. Santana was right, whenever they were in close proximity Finn did seem to get a little.…_excited_. And they weren't even heavily making out – at lunchtime in the library it was just some flirtatious kisses and now they had merely hugged, their bodies pressed tightly together.

Why had she never noticed this before? She wasn't totally oblivious to Finn's bodily reactions; during some of their heavier make-out sessions she had definitely felt _something_ grinding against her pelvis, but she had blithely ignored it, instead focusing on the sheer joy of kissing Finn and being close to him.

Letting her head rest against his chest again, she took in the sound of his deliberately deep, calming breaths and the rapid beat of his heart beneath her ear.

_I did this_, she wondered in amazement, _I have sex appeal!_

Emboldened by the thought Rachel moved a little, deliberately taking in the sensation of his arousal pressed firmly against her belly rather than shying away from it. It felt…._nice_…no that wasn't the right word, it felt…._hot._

Finn moaned and held her tighter, "Don't move baby," he whispered in her ear, his voice suddenly tight.

"OK," she whispered back, unable to stop the giddy laugh that bubbled up in her throat as she embraced the sudden feeling of sexual empowerment.

"And don't laugh either…" he groaned, "God, you're killing me Rach. Are you sure you can't skip whatever it is you're doing with Santana. I reeeeeally want to take you home so we can make out…."

Rachel pulled back and looked up at him, her teeth chewing her bottom lip as if she was half considering the prospect. To be honest she'd kind of been avoiding him the last couple of days. The previous two afternoons spent with Santana had left her a little shell-shocked and she needed time to digest and embrace the changes that had been forced upon her. After waking up in her newly decorated, 'grown-ups' bedroom that morning she had showered and slipped into her new 'sexy' underwear, admiring herself in the bathroom mirror, finally conceding that she felt…._different_. And it was this feeling that Santana had urged her to embrace, to explore what it felt like and what it made her want to do, to 'go with the feeling' if you will instead of running away from it. And at the moment, the _feeling_ made her want to take her boyfriend home and explore what was going on a little further. How much further, she wasn't entirely sure – it was all a little bit too new, and maybe it was still a bit _too_ soon. And yeah, she still had no idea what she was supposed to do next…..

Turning slightly in his embrace she popped the combination on her locker, as she considered the notion. Finn still had his arms loosely around her, as he leaned his shoulder and head against the nearest locker, his eyes closed as if he was concentrating very hard on something….on what, she had no idea.

She really did want to take him home, he was so cute with his face all scrunched up, half in pain, but Santana had bumped into her ten minutes prior, reminding her that she would be over again that afternoon for lesson 3. While it was admirable that she was taking her responsibilities so seriously, Rachel wouldn't have minded a break, especially if it meant she could carry on where they had just left off. Problem was, Santana Lopez was not the easiest person to blow off….and, Rachel had to concede, she was doing a very good job in tutoring. Look at the progress she'd made in only a few days? She felt stronger and more confident in her sexuality already, she was no longer afraid to embrace her and Finn's bodily reactions, and she wondered almost eagerly how soon it would be before she'd be ready for that next step with Finn.

With a sigh she scanned the inside of her locker, registering an unfamiliar object that sat front and centre.

"What's this?" she said her hands landing on hips as all thoughts of sex instantly flew from her mind, "Good Lord Finn, if those imbecile, Neanderthal hockey heads have left dog poop in my locker again I swear I will make bunting for next year's prom out of their jock straps…."

Finn snorted and looked over her shoulder, catching sight of a non-descript brown paper bag.

"Umm I caught Santana at your locker before," he said kind of awkwardly as if he was half-expecting to land himself in trouble, "she said something about homework? "

Rachel blinked and stared back at the bag before gingerly opening the top and looking in. A frown of confusion creased her brow for a long moment before a look of abject horror overtook it. With a gasp she scrunched the bag shut again, blinking rapidly in shock at what was inside.

"it's Ok babe," Finn said registering her reaction and realising this was a good opportunity to find out what the hell was going on. Reaching over her shoulder he reassured her, "if this is one of Santana's stupid jokes I'll take care of it….."

Rachel turned quickly in front of him blocking his reach. "NO!" she squeaked slamming the door shut. "Ummmm….it's fine, really Finn, it's just something for our project…. I'll pick it up later."

"But don't you need it for the weekend?" he replied confused.

"Uh…maybe?"

"What the hell is going on Rach?" Finn asked quickly losing patience.

For once in her life Rachel was completely speechless. How could she even begin to explain to her boyfriend that there was a rather large, bright pink, fake _penis_ in her locker?

How did one even broach the subject?

Still in shock, she merely shook her head and squeezed his hand, pleading silently for understanding.

"Whatever," he sighed running a hand through his hair. "Come on babe, get your stuff and I'll drop you home. I'll meet you at the car." Turning away, he ambled up the hallway shaking his head. His girlfriend was doing his head in in more ways than one.

* * *

><p>Rachel watched him go with a look of regret before turning to face her locker again, inhaling deeply before popping the combination. What on earth had made her start to think she could trust Santana Lopez? With the now familiar eye roll of frustration she stared at the offending parcel before checking the corridors to ensure they were mostly clear of students. Pressing her lips together in determination she grabbed the bag firmly, placing it on top of the books she was carrying and pressing the whole load against her chest for safe keeping. Telling herself she just had to make it to the car park without some hockey-jock 'accidently' bumping into her, she strode purposefully up the corridor.<p>

Problem was, her parcel was a little ….distracting. With each step it nudged firmly against her breasts reminding her of how it had felt to have _that_ part of Finn pressed against her not five minutes before. A million random thoughts flew her head, mostly to do with Finn and his….well_, you know_, as she realised she was getting a little _bothered _and not in a good way. Her breasts tingled and a strange sensation ignited between her thighs, building with every step she took and flaring into life as she spotted Finn leaning casually against his truck as he waited for her. His dimpled smile appearing as he waved to someone across the car park before he turned, reaching into the bed of the truck to grab his football gear, giving her a fine view of his backside and biceps. His T-shirt rode up exposing a strip of skin above his low slung jeans and all of a sudden her mouth went dry and that _feeling_ made her stop walking completely.

_What on earth? Was this what sexual desire really felt like?_ _How on earth did Finn walk around like this all day?_

She felt like she was about to explode… and not into song like she usually did when she was excited.

Closing her eyes, she took a moment to breathe deeply, calming herself by reciting her long held mantra for moments of indecision or doubt…._what would Barbra do?_

Problem was, for once Barbra was no help at all…


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N – Thanks for all the comments everyone – I really appreciate the feedback and knowing that someone is reading and enjoying as much as I'm enjoying writing it. And I hope no-one is offended by the concepts in this – it's probably a little radical in terms of teen sexuality but probably not a whole lot more out there than some of the things already raised on Glee (how old was Puck when he was in the acafellas and sleeping with all those mom's again? :s) Anyway – hope you read it in the spirit it was written and just enjoy :) **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, just using the characters.**

**Chapter 7**

Rachel was silent for the duration of the trip home, her eyes wide and face pink with embarrassment as she clutched the brown paper bag tightly in her hands. All her previous warm thoughts had departed the moment she arrived at Finn's truck to be greeted by his warm innocent smile, the knowledge of what she held in her hands leaving her with an overwhelming sense of embarrassment and guilt. Leaving the _thing_ at school wasn't an option – Coach Sylvester's random locker checks were routine on a Friday afternoon and she was pretty certain that having _that_ found in her locker would see her expelled in a shroud of humiliation.

Contrary to her usual habit she sat on the furthest end of the bench seat away from Finn, pressed tightly up against the passenger side door. She couldn't even bring herself to look at him, not with _those_ thoughts still running through her head and the feel of the hard, round end of whatever the hell it was now pressed firmly against her palm.

When they arrived at her house she noticed Santana's car was already parked in the driveway, with the Latina leaning casually against the trunk as she examined her carefully manicured fingernails. With a raised brow and knowing smirk that irritated Rachel beyond belief she pushed herself off from the car and sauntered towards Finn's truck.

"Finnocence," she greeted, as Finn hopped out of the driver's side to help Rachel out. It wasn't like she couldn't do it herself, but the step was kind of high off the ground and it was a habit they'd gotten into where he would lift her out, kissing her lightly on the way down. Today was different though; as she protectively clutched her mystery bundle to her chest he could barely get purchase on her waist to lift her let alone get anywhere near her lips.

As soon as her feet hit the ground though she jumped away from him leaving Finn pondering that whatever the hell was in the bag, she _really_ didn't want him to see it. Even more confusing was the glare she threw Santana's way as she stormed past the Latina on her way to the front door. Did Rachel say they were _friends_? Weirdest kind of friendship he'd ever seen.

"Call me later babe," he called out to her in concern as she fumbled with her key in the front door, juggling her books and mystery package in a mad rush to get inside. She turned and nodded, still managing to blow him a kiss even with all the obstacles in her arms.

"Seriously," Santana fake gagged. "You guys are so cute you make me want to vomit."

"jealous much?" he replied challengingly.

"Not really - Believe it or not you ain't my flavour finnocence," Santana smirked. "Although, I am kind of developing a liking for Berries…."she finished with a raised brow.

"You better not do anything to mess this up Santana," Finn said darkly wondering what the hell she meant.

"I wouldn't dream of it," she replied studying her nails nonchalantly, "I'll leave that entirely up to you."

And with that she turned on her heel and walked in the direction his girlfriend had gone not a minute before.

Sighing, Finn jumped back in the truck, ignoring Santana's remark as he hit the gas causing his tyres to squeal a little as he pulled away. He didn't like this at all, not one bit.

* * *

><p>"What the hell Santana," Rachel yelled as the other girl finally made her way inside, her eyes darting to the infamous brown paper bag that now sat on the kitchen counter.<p>

Santana raised a brow, casually throwing a matching bag next to it as if she were raising a bet in a poker game. Leaning a hip against the counter, she smirked in challenge wondering how long it was going to be before Rachel's curiosity got the better of her. Already she could see the other girl staring intensely at the bag that lay flat against the counter, her arms tightening as they crossed in protest against her chest.

"Open it Berry, you know you want to."

Rachel didn't move, only pressed her lips together as her nostrils flared and eyes blazed in anger as she refused to take the bait.

"Good day?" Santana said casually as the silence stretched between them.

"Interesting…" Rachel ground out.

"Really?" came the smirking reply.

Rachel tried to stare her down, knowing that it was both futile and that she was failing miserably, before pushing herself off the bench to grab a bottle of cold water. How the hell did one win a battle of wits with Santana Lopez?

As she opened the fridge door she was tempted to take a swig of the chilled Chablis resting next to the water but calmed herself instead with simply slamming the fridge door. With the thought of what was to come that afternoon, some liquid fortification didn't seem entirely out of the question.

And an hour later, it was completely necessary.

The stalemate had only ended with Santana sending Rachel to her room with both bags clutched nervously to her chest as she herself had taken up residence on the lounge with a diet-coke and the latest copy of Vogue. Now, as Santana re-entered Rachel's room carrying a plastic cup half-filled with the chilled wine, she almost sprayed her own drink she'd just taken a sip of half-way across the room.

Rachel was lying on her stomach diagonally across the bed, propped on a pillow and totally engrossed with what was playing on the TV screen before her. The patented 'Rachel Berry look of horror' was etched in stone across her face and her small hands tightly gripped the rubber appendage she'd had so much trouble dealing with that afternoon. She didn't even register Santana's appearance until a glass of wine was thrust in front of her, at which her look turned from horror to confusion to relief as she grabbed the beverage and downed it in one go.

Santana threw herself on the bed laughing, her body bumping up against Rachel's as she gave in to her amusement. Rachel nudged her back, a small smile playing at her lips. As absurd as the scenario was, she didn't think she'd ever seen the other girl laugh in her life. It was kind of infectious, even if it was at her expense.

"Priceless!" Santana exclaimed wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. "I can't wait til everyone in Glee hears about this…."

"Really?" Rachel scoffed with a raised brow. "You seriously think broadcasting to the world that you spent a Friday evening curled up on Rachel Berry's bed watching pornographic films with _this_ between us wouldn't damage your rep just a little?" she finished thrusting forward the object still clutched in her hands.

"Hey, watch what you're doing with that thing," Santana laughed before narrowing her eyes shrewdly. "You're not so damn stupid after all Berry."

Rachel smiled feeling like she'd finally one a small battle even if she had lost the war. That was until her eyes turned back to the TV, the edges of her mouth dropping again in despair.

"Oh God" Rachel groaned. "I thought I was getting the hang of it this afternoon but now I'm not so sure. This movie is seriously making me feel sick. Besides there being no noticeable plot, the lighting is horrible and the acting just plain awful….and…and what they're doing….." she couldn't finish, instead burying her head in the pillow in a futile attempt to smother the sights and sounds of what was playing before her.

Grabbing the remote, Santana turned the volume down to at least drown out the moans and groans from the TV. Though she'd never verbally agree with her companion she had to admit that porno's were pretty damn awful to watch, and this one was about the tamest most tasteful one she could find.

"Trust you to completely miss the point Berry – you weren't meant to write a critique."

Rachel rolled over onto her back, staring at the ceiling. "I know that, it's a point universally acknowledged that pornographic films have absolutely no cinematic value at all. Unfortunately I cannot stop my natural inclination to dissect a fellow thespians performance, however genuine it may be. It's a very distracting habit."

"Well I hope you learnt something at least," Santana replied leaning closer, "otherwise I'm totally available for a private lesson."

"That won't be necessary," Rachel replied crisply, "I think I have the basics plus I am quite adept at independent research." At Santana's raised brow, she elaborated. "My fathers _do_ have an extensive French film collection…"

Santana sighed theatrically, turning back to her magazine. "You are no fun at all."

Rachel half-smiled, becoming used to the other girl's flirtatious teasing. "So what am I supposed to do with this?" she asked with a distasteful frown as she studied the pink appendage again.

"Duh...You've seen the movie, what do you think?"

When only a confused expression crossed Rachel's face, Santana reached into her bag and pulled out a dog-eared copy of Cosmo tossing it on the bed between them. Rachel scanned the cover, her eyes landing on the lettering that promised 'fifteen guaranteed ways to bring yourself to orgasm,' her mouth forming into a silent 'o'.

"Experiment a little," the Latina said casually taking in her companions frown and giving her a nudge of encouragement. "Just between you and me, Finn has no idea what he's doing so you probably want to find out how to enjoy yourself before you let him have a go. Otherwise honey, you are in for a massive yawn fest…"

"No I couldn't," Rachel replied firmly shaking her head. "That would be cheating. I already feel guilty just having these things in my room."

"Seriously?" the latina queried with genuine astonishment. "You think Finn's never watched skinamax and spanked the monkey?"

"I...I've never thought about it."

"Yeah well I bet he's done more than think about it… a lot. He's a freakin' seventeen year old boy after all. Having a little fun by yourself is _not_ cheating, and don't worry, using _that_ is entirely optional," she replied nodding at the object Rachel still held firmly in her grasp. "You can have just as much fun without it."

"I'm very relieved to hear it," Rachel stated emphatically. "While I am trying to be open minded about this whole process, I'm really not comfortable with the idea of using ….'props', especially ones of dubious origin…." She finished wrinkling her nose in distaste while holding the thing at arm's length.

Santana snorted with laughter. "What you think I'd give you mine? I needs that thing to live honey. Trust me it's completely clean, I got it today straight from 'Panwhora's box'."

Rachel was silent, briefly pondering the bravado of her companion in casually ducking out to a dubiously named sex shop during lunch when she herself had been desperately trying to muster the courage to get even a fraction more intimate with her boyfriend. Her mind naturally drifted to what she herself had been doing at lunch and after, to Finn's easy arousal and the difficulty he had in dealing with it. Santana was probably right, it couldn't be healthy for him _not_ to find relief to what was obviously a constant problem. Was it so wrong to want to experiment a little herself? Would it give her the confidence she needed to go further with Finn? Thinking back to the events of the afternoon about the feelings Finn had inspired, she had to concede that it wouldn't hurt to explore those feelings a little more, to know what to expect. Though she'd never admit it to Santana, besides being completely awful, the film had given her a better idea of logistics at least.

"Is this…Is this really what it looks like?" Rachel queried thoughtfully, holding the pink appendage up for inspection.

"Not so much the colour," Santana replied nonchalantly, "but it's about Frankenteen's size."

"Can you please not call him that?" Rachel snapped.

"What?" she snorted in reply, "Don't tell me you're not thinking right now that your boys a freak?"

Rachel blushed. "It is…._huge."_

"Yep," Santana replied casually flipping the pages of the magazine before her.

"It's never going to fit," she whispered genuinely alarmed. "We're done for before we even get started."

"Yeah well it's always been my opinion that a giant and a midget shouldn't procreate but you guys seem determined to do it so who am I to say nay?"

"Maybe you're right….."

"Seriously Berry?" Santana replied looking up at her and giving her a light punch in the arm. "I was joking. Trust me - it'll fit."

"It'll hurt though, won't it?" the other girl asked earnestly rolling over to look her companion in the eye.

"First time always does, but after that…." Santana finished airily with a dreamy smile.

Rachel raised her brows in confusion prompting the other girl to translate her expression. "really it's not a bad thing."

"It's not?"

Santana merely shook her head with a knowing smile.

**Love to know what you're thinking - Reviews are very much appreciated!**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N – again sorry about the delay – work, life and me being overly anal about getting everything perfect! Thanks for all the reviews - was pumped to see all of the nice comments and readers adding my story to their favourites!**

**Disclaimer – I don't own Glee, if I did I would totally run with this idea as a plot line **

**Chapter 8**

"HEADS UP HUDSON" came the call, a nanosecond before the football smacked Finn square in the back of the head.

Puck shook his own head laughing as his friend doubled over. "Wow, coach, that was kind of uncalled for," Finn muttered eventually straightening and shaking the pain away as he eyed off the hulking ex-linebacker that had been assigned as their coaching-instructor for the two day course.

"Yeah well how do you think you're gonna keep a bunch of mini football ninjas in line if you can't even get your own head in the game," the coach barked getting right up in Finn's face. "Wake up and focus Hudson and get your mind out of your girlfriend's panties."

"That's a magical mystery tour for our boy here," Puck interjected with a smirk.

"Is that right," the coach replied eyeing Finn off with a derisive smile, "well time to man up son. Keeping a dozen ratbags under control is going to be a lot more challenging than finding your way inside a little bit of lace."

Finn straightened, gritting his teeth as he nodded at the imposing coach before him. Rolling his eyes as soon as the man walked away calling a 5 minute drinks break, he punched Puck in the arm. "Thanks for the backup man."

"What? Don't blame me if you've missed half of what's gone down this weekend. What's with you anyway? "

Finn didn't answer immediately, knowing he was unlikely to get any kind of advice from Puck besides a whole lot more teasing.

"It's Rachel," he said eventually after Puck threatened him with a barrage of ice cubes if he didn't 'spill'.

"Something weird is going on and I can't work it out."

"What's new? I already told you that chick is bat-shit crazy."

"Nah, this ain't her usually crazy. Ever since our Halo marathon she's been acting all….different."

"Different to what? She ain't exactly normal."

"Well Friday, every time we were together she was like…well, she kept kind of checking me out."

"Duh, you're her boyfriend," Puck interrupted smacking him lightly over the head.

"Yeah but like _really_ checking me out and rubbing up against me, you know when I was kinda…"

Puck rolled his eyes. "You're an idiot – take a hint already, she totally wants to get in your pants."

"Yeah but Rachel normally avoids that stuff like the plague, and this was when we were in the library - it's not like I could do anything. And then when I drove her home… at first she was giving me this look like she totally wanted to jump me and then …then she got in the truck she was completely the opposite, wouldn't even look at me and barely let me touch her when we got to her place."

"Total tease, she already told you she wasn't gonna let you get any till you were like twenty-five. I feel your pain though bro, she makes out like a bandit and those little skirts she wears….mmmmm" Puck continued with a faraway expression.

Finn smacked him over the head in a futile attempt to bring him back to reality and get his mind off making out with his girlfriend

"no something's definitely going on," he mused, scratching the back of his neck. "And she's been hanging out with Santana…"

"Ok that _is_ weird," Puck agreed.

"I know right?" ,Finn said looking up, "Rach said they're working on a project, but neither of them will tell me what it is, and she left this _thing_ in Rach's locker that totally freaked her out."

Puck rolled his eyes at Finn's cryptic description.

"It was in a bag dude so I couldn't see what it was and when I tried she went all psycho-chick on me. Said it was homework but I've never seen Rach freak like that about any stupid book report."

Finn kicked the dirt at their feet as he continued. "Santana just keeps dropping all these weird comments about me and Rach and I know she's totally up to something."

Puck shrugged. "She already punched your V-card bro and from what I heard she's not likely to come back for a second helping."

"Nah I'm not worried about that," he muttered before leaning closer and asking quietly, "Is it true Santana, you know, plays for both teams?"

Puck nodded with a knowing smirk which disappeared when he saw his friend's concerned expression. "Wait you don't think she's, you know, with Rachel do you?"

Finn shrugged his shoulders. "I…I don't know."

"'Cos that would be totally hot," Puck enthused.

"No," Finn replied firmly, "No, it wouldn't. Besides Rachel wouldn't do that to me again and she seemed really pissed with Santana yesterday – I'm pretty sure they still don't even like each other."

"Pfffft," Puck snorted, "that's never stopped Santana nailing someone, a hot body is enough for her and Berry totally fits that bill," he finished with a faraway expression again.

"Dude!" Finn yelled, "Stop thinking about my girlfriend like that – It's totally _not_ happening."

"What? You haven't thought about it?"

Finn's face flushed red. "Anyway," he continued trying to get Puck's mind off the dirty image that was probably very similar to the one occupying his own brain, "last night….she…"

"What?" Puck prompted suddenly getting interested again.

"Well…we had this," Finn hesitated looking over his shoulder to make sure no-one else was listening, "IM conversation…"

* * *

><p><em>The previous evening – Finn Hudson's room….<em>

Finn got taken out by sniper's three times on Call of Duty before he gave up and threw his controller down. Frustrated, he tossed himself across the bed and picked up his laptop hoping Rachel was online. Her dads always got kinda shitty when they talked on the phone late at night so after eleven they usually chatted on IM. She responded pretty quickly and they'd gone back and forth a few times with details about their respective days. Eventually the screen had gone still, and Finn had sat there chewing his lip waiting for her next message. He wasn't a big talker (or typer for that matter) but Rachel loved their IM conversations and usually typed really long messages full of details about completely random stuff. But today was different. After about five minutes the screen flashed again.

BROADWAYBABY: Finn….can I talk to you about yesterday?

FHUD: Sure - What about it?

BROADWAYBABY: does _that_ happen often?

FHUD: Does what happen often?

BROADWAYBABY: Don't make me say it :s

Mystified, Finn cast his mind back to the events of the previous day, which had been pretty much the same as every other school day…except in one respect. Suddenly his eyebrows shot up into his hairline when he remembered _what_ had been different.

FHUD: Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?

BROADWAYBABY: I think so

BROADWAYBABY: Just so we're clear - what happened to you in the library…and later

Finn chewed his nails nervously wondering how he could possibly answer without sounding like a complete perv? Now that she'd noticed it though it was not like it was going to be a secret for long.

BROADWAYBABY: Finn? Are you still there?

FHUD: still here

BROADWAYBABY: well – does it?

Finn scrolled back up through the conversation just so he was clear what she was actually asking. _Yep, __she __was__r eally __asking __if __he __got __random __hard-ons __in __the __middle __of __the __day__…__wow, __embarrassing __much?_

FHUD: Ummm - it kinda does

BROADWAYBABY: Really?

BROADWAYBABY: Like how often?

FHUD: dunno – couple of times a day maybe?

BROADWAYBABY: a couple of times _everyday_?

FHUD: ….yeah :s

BROADWAYBABY: wow!

FHUD: sorry babe - it's kinda embarrassing

BROADWAYBABY: You shouldn't be embarrassed, it's natural.

Finn didn't reply for a long stretch, unsure of what to say or where the conversation was headed. Eventually a message popped up again.

BROADWAYBABY: I've been thinking…

FHUD: about that?

BROADWAYBABY : yes

Finn felt his eyebrows shoot up into his hairline even further.

BROADWAYBABY: maybe I could, you know, help sometime?

FHUD: what do you mean by help?

FHUD: do you mean help as in help me out with _it_?

FHUD: 'cos like that'd be cool

FHUD: like awesome

FHUD: but only if you really want to

FHUD: otherwise I can deal with it.

He didn't receive a reply to his rapid fire brain dump and for a second he was afraid he'd really freaked his girlfriend out with his enthusiasm.

FHUD: damn… sorry rach – I need to shut up :s

BROADWAYBABY: It's Ok – I was giggling so hard I couldn't type

FHUD: yeah I know I'm a total retard :p

BROADWAYBABY: no you're not, you're my totally awesome boyfriend. Your enthusiasm is very cute

FHUD: Babe - we're talking about…_you __know_, and you're calling me cute?

BROADWAYBABY: well cute makes me want to come over and kiss you right now –is that bad?

FHUD: nah – I just wish you could.

BROADWAYBABY: Me too

Finn reclined back on his bed glad that his girlfriend seemed to have gotten over the uncomfortable inquisition into his personal problems and onto their usual comfortable flirting.

BROADWAYBABY: so…do you do that often?

FHUD: Do what often?

BROADWAYBABY : Deal with it.

Finn's eyes scrunched together in confusion as he scrolled up and re-read the conversation following which his eyes popped wide open. _Woah__ – __totally __spoke __too __soon_ - _did __Rachel __Berry __really __just __ask __me __**that**_?

FHUD: Deal with it as in 'deal with it'?

FHUD: Oh man, you must think I'm a weirdo. Can we talk about something else?

Rachel didn't reply for a good minute.

BROADWAYBABY: Do you need to take care of it now?

Finn sucked in a deep breath.

FHUD: Kinda….

BROADWAYBABY: Do you ever think of me when you ….you know…

FHUD: Wow Rach - What's gotten into you?

BROADWAYBABY: I just think we should be frank and open in all aspects of our relationship

FHUD: OK, it's just….

BROADWAYBABY: What?

FHUD: I don't feel right talking to you about this stuff

BROADWAYBABY: I'm your girlfriend – you should be able to talk to me about anything

FHUD: Do I have to talk about it at all?

BROADWAYBABY: I thought it might help

FHUD: At the moment it's really not, it's kinda making it worse.

BROADWAYBABY: Finn?

FHUD: yeah?

BROADWAYBABY: I really wish I was there….

It was a long minute before Finn could pick his jaw off the floor and reply. _She __wished __she __was __here, __like __as __in __she __wanted __to __touch __his __junk? __Wow__…__.._

FHUD: That'd b awsom

BROADWAYBABY: Finn?

FHUD: ?

BROADWAYBABY: Are you typing one handed right now?

_Damn….totally busted._

* * *

><p>If Finn was left confused (and not a little frustrated) by his IM conversation with Rachel on Saturday night, Santana was in stitches over the one she shared with the small diva the following evening. She'd been hanging with Brittney in her room, listening to music and painting the other girls nails when her IM window popped up. She'd set her status to busy, a signal that she was unavailable and one that most people respected….only Rachel Berry wasn't most people. With a sigh she hopped off the bed, silently cursing that she'd ever taken on this stupid project in the first place. Rachel always had a thousand questions on everything and insisted on going into the most ridiculous detail. She'd already had a few random IM prompts sent and a couple of texts when Santana had refused to reply to the IM. She was seriously looking forward to the day when Rachel Berry finally did get laid 'cos it really couldn't be healthy being this uptight.<p>

BROADWAYBABY: Santana?

MH_HBIC: 'sup my Berrylicious apprentice?

BROADWAYBABY: Are you drunk?

MH_HBIC: Nah, just chilling

BROADWAYBABY: Oh - nice

MH_HBIC: get 2 tha point Berry - My time is prec you know…

BROADWAYBABY: Ok

Santana rolled her eyes at where the conversation was going…again, which was pretty much nowhere.

MH_HBIC: So this better be good Berry 'cos at the moment you're kind of wasting my life away here…

Santana frowned when she didn't get a response, but then an eyebrow shot up in curiosity. There was only one thing she could think of that would silence Rachel Berry….

MH_HBIC: If this cryptic conversation is not about you doing your _homework _I'm going offline RIGHT NOW….

BROADWAYBABY: It is

MH_HBIC: So…..?

BROADWAYBABY: Oh My God…it was beyond amazing!

MH_HBIC: :eyeroll: u know u can abrev8 right? That's what OMG is for :s

BROADWAYBABY: Abbreviating my feelings at the moment would not do them justice

MH_HBIC: totally rocked your world huh? Good 4 u babe

BROADWAYBABY: Literally. It was earth shattering. I never imagined I could feel like that – it was like a total out of body experience, like I'd just died and seen a Broadway marathon of my favourite musicals performed by Streisand and LuPone

MH_HBIC: pfffft – please, it's better than a couple of old hacks caterwauling…although I bet that's what you sounded like:p

BROADWAYBABY: Well I wasn't quite expecting _that_ so I may have been a little loud – luckily my fathers were enjoying a Tom Cruise movie marathon in the basement so didn't hear me over the roar of jet engines through the surround sound.

MH_HBIC: Ok I just have to say that your Dad's have to be the most clichéd gay couple ever…

MH_HBIC: Oh and I totally picked you for a screamer :p

BROADWAYBABY: really Santana – these are the thoughts that occupy your mind?

MH_HBIC: that and imagining people naked…

BROADWAYBABY: :eyeroll: you are worse than Noah Puckerman

MH_HBIC: What? Keeps me from falling asleep in class

BROADWAYBABY: Though you take great pride in playing it down Santana, you are actually quite smart. You could really benefit from using your intelligence a little more constructively

MH_HBIC: Puhleese Berry – you sound like my mom…except Jewish

BROADWAYBABY: Fine – I'm going now!

MH_HBIC: Good!

MH_HBIC: Oh and Britt says rock on…

BROADWAYBABY: Wait - Brittney saw this?

MH_HBIC: Yeah – says congrats and now that you've unlocked your knees you should totally tap Finn's man parts and play with his jiggly man boobs

BROADWAYBABY: Brittney did not say that – that was straight from your brain

MH_HBIC: Fine – whatever

BROADWAYBABY: I HATE YOU SANTANA LOPEZ!

MH_HBIC: No you don't :p

BROADWAYBABY: Grrrrrrrrrrrrr

MH_HBIC: Right Berry – if you're just going to growl at me in cyberspace I'm out of here… and a bit more practising should totally turn that frown upside down…mwah!

MH_HBIC is offline.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N apologies again for the delay – I wasn't sure where this scene was going or how it was going to end up but it ended up blowing out into a whole chapter. I'll try and be quicker with the next one.**

**Disclaimer – I don't own glee**

**Chapter 9**

Finn arrived at Rachel's house at 7.45 sharp on Monday morning. His usual habit was to pick her up at 8 (more often than not later thanks to whoever's bright idea it was to invent the snooze button), where she'd be waiting on the front porch. On the rare occasions she was running late he'd merely bump his horn and wait in the truck for her to come skipping up the front path.

But this morning he had a plan, well it was really Puck's plan, but in the absence of any ideas of his own on how to get to the bottom of his girlfriend's abnormal behaviour he kinda decided to go with it. It was pretty simple as plans went (most of Puck's were) which meant in theory not much could go wrong, right? Problem was Rachel wasn't stupid and she had an uncanny ability to spot an ulterior motive or suspicious activity a mile away.

Anyway the plan was this, get to Rachel's place early on Monday morning and search for the mystery bag in her room while she was busy in the bathroom getting ready. Puck assured him that Rachel's morning routine was religiously started with an elliptical workout, followed by breakfast with her dads, and ending with a shower and 'girl stuff' whatever that meant. The fact that Puck knew her early morning routine better than he did freaked Finn out a little – I mean they'd dated for like a week right? His friend's explanation that was phrased as manly advice didn't reassure him at all; that paying attention to your girl's routine will totally score you 'panty access' points.

Finn shrugged off that disturbing thought as he strode up the path, bumping into Mr Berry number one emerging from the house on his way to work - so far so good. Waving Finn inside he pointed upstairs to Rachel's room indicating her whereabouts. Hearing an old Broadway classic sung in deep baritone coming from the kitchen Finn stuck his head in and called a greeting to Mr Berry number 2.

Taking the stairs two at a time he heard Rachel's voice emerge from the depths of her room as she sang a low, slow tune, the smooth even pitch of her voice flowing like honey without benefit of backing music.

_At last, my love has come along  
>My lonely days are over<br>And life is like a song  
>Oh, yeah, at last<br>The skies above are blue  
>My heart was wrapped up in clovers<br>The night I looked at you_

He didn't recognise the song - it was slower and more melodic than what she usually sang, was kind of more like the songs Santana or Mercedes sang in Glee – soul music or something? Frowning, he wondered for a moment over the choice as he hung outside her door. Her musical selection was usually a pretty good barometer of her mood – pop music when she was relaxed and happy, Broadway tunes when she was _really_ upset and Celine Dion or Streisand whenever she was feeling romantic. This, he couldn't quite pick, it was kind of low and sultry, like romantic but with something more to it.

_I found a dream that I could speak to  
>A dream that I can call my own<br>I found a thrill to rest my cheek to  
>A thrill that I have never known<br>Oh, yeah when you smile, you smile  
>Oh, and then the spell was cast<br>And here we are in heaven  
>For you are mine<br>At last_

He could tell she was in the bathroom getting ready by the sound of bare feet on tile and for a moment he wondered how awesome it would be to wake up to that sound every morning; him lying in their bed slowly coming round to the day, and her pottering around in the bathroom showering and curling her hair just how he liked, all the while singing her heart out. As she held the last note, her voice soaring, a shiver coursed down his spine followed by a familiar warm rush through his body. Shaking his head slightly he wondered over the effect her singing had on him– although he heard her perform all the time, there were odd moments when it would just literally hit him, knocking the air from his lungs almost as if he'd been sacked by a two hundred pound linebacker. Something else welled up inside him that was kind of unexpected but totally warm and tingly and awesome (yeah he was pretty sure it was love and Puck would totally tell him he'd grown a vagina if he ever tried to describe it to him). But whatever - in that moment, standing outside Rachel Berry's bedroom door listening to her pouring heart and soul into a song he was pretty sure was about him, he promised himself that whatever kind of crazy she got up to, he was totally gonna hang onto her forever.

"Hey Rach," he called out in greeting as he pushed her bedroom door open slowly making sure she was decent.

"Hey," she called out in reply, "I'm still in the bathroom - you're really early."

"Yeah…couldn't wait to see you," he muttered, stumbling for an excuse and knowing it sounded lame. _Ok__ – __I __should __totally __not __be __trying __to __score __boyfriend __points __right __now__ – __she__'__d __kill __me __if __she __knew __I __only __came __early __to __snoop __in __her __room__…_

Her head popped around the bathroom door which stood slightly ajar and she gave him a beaming smile. "I love you," she said simply, beckoning him forward until their lips met in a soft and lingering kiss. Her hand on his chest pushed him away eventually and he backed up with a smile, his eyes drawn to the bare arm that disappeared behind the door. Raising an eyebrow at him and biting her lip, she smiled before retreating to finish her morning routine her voice automatically starting on the next tune in her repertoire, another low, slow song he didn't recognise.

_Wow…maybe Puck was right with that 'panty points' theory - totally awesome start to the morning…_

Finn inhaled a deep breath, trying not to get too carried away in imagining what she might or might not be wearing, a job that was easier said than done. When he turned around to get down to his job of searching her room though he lost that train of thought pretty quickly. Everything was different, like completely different, transformed from the little girl pink and perky to something darker and a lot more sophisticated. Her bed was covered in a deep mauve throw, even the pillows which were usually full of frills and ruffles were now a plain, dusky hue. Casting his eyes about in confusion he noticed even the posters were changed. Instead of the sweet innocence of 'Funny Girl' and 'Annie Hall' they'd been replaced by posters for '42nd Street' and 'Cabaret'.

"What happened to your room babe? It's like, really different," he called out as he wandered about taking it in.

"Santana and I redecorated," she replied matter-of-factly as if doing such a thing with your sworn enemy was completely normal, "do you like it?"

"Yeah, it's cool - But you know Kurt's gonna be totally bummed when he hears you let Santana design it and not him."

"Oh my gosh, you're right," Rachel gasped from the other side of the door. "Well it wasn't exactly planned otherwise I would have consulted him first. Please don't tell him and we'll just have to have all our sleep overs for the next year at your place."

"I'm cool with that," Finn replied in a low voice coming up against the still slightly ajar bathroom door. "I always loved your sleepovers with Kurt, finding you in my kitchen at midnight in your pink pyjamas and braids is all kinds of awesome…."

Rachel giggled then continued humming as she went about finishing her toilette.

"So…Is this the project you and Santana were working on," he asked his voice slightly muffled as she heard him move about the room, "looks like it's finished right?"

"It's…..part of it," she stammered. Finn frowned noticing the change in her tone – definitely suspicious. Shaking himself out of the distraction provided by imagining Rachel Berry naked 10 feet away he carefully picked his way around the room trying not to make any noise. Checking her bedside table, under the bed, and even beneath the covers he found nothing. Rachel was a total neat freak so it wasn't surprising.

"Finn," she called interrupting his thoughts, "Could you pick me out something to wear, I've only got my underwear in here."

"Uh….sure, like what?" he asked looking vaguely at her wardrobe and thanking the powers that be for giving him an opportunity to snoop without getting busted.

"I don't know – you choose. It's going to be hot today so something light."

Sliding the wardrobe door open he scanned the interior seeing nothing that looked remotely like the bag he'd seen her carrying on Friday. Trying each of her dresser drawers he found only neatly arranged collections of; sweaters (all with the familiar animal prints); knee socks and leg warmers (colour arranged and neatly stacked); pyjamas (which totally _weren__'__t_ pink flannel or cute); and lastly, underwear (yeah, like really hot lacy underwear…..) Closing the last drawers quickly he felt a vague stirring in his pants as he tried hard not to think of his girlfriend in nothing but those little scraps of lace. Determined to stay on task he shook off the awesome mental image, refocusing on what was in front of him. On the top of her dresser was a dog-eared copy of Cosmo, beneath it a foreign looking DVD, and beneath that a shoebox. There was a hole in the end of it but he couldn't make out much except that there was something pinkish inside. Reaching out to investigate further he shifted the magazine and DVD to the side.

"Have you found something yet?" his girlfriend called out making him jump about 10 feet in the air. "I don't want to be late for school."

"Ummmm still looking," he replied glancing back at the bathroom door just as Rachel popped her head around. Her eyes widened as she glanced at the open wardrobe behind him, and Finn felt his own blush cool rapidly as he took in the sight of the heat rising in her face.

_Woah…OK I'm totally onto something here._

Glancing behind him he looked at the box only to see his girlfriend fly past him in a towel and not much else.

"The dresses are at the other end silly," she said nervously, quickly sliding the door across to conceal the suspicous box revealing an array of dresses at the opposite end of the wardrobe. Finn nodded dumbly, trying to tear his eyes away from the legs that seemed to stretch endlessly from the bottom of the rather short and awkwardly wrapped towel. His eyes travelled south, he couldn't help himself; he knew it was totally weird but the sight of Rachel's bare feet and neatly painted purple toenails kinda turned him on. There was something so feminine and girly about it and yeah he could totally get used to seeing this every morning for the rest of his life.

"Did you want to help me pick something?" she queried, flicking through the array of dresses before her, the motion causing the towel to ride further up her thighs until he swore he could see the curve of her butt cheek.

"Finn?"

"Huh?" Snapping his head up to meet her eyes, he felt the blush returning full force knowing he was totally busted. Instead of chastising him like she usually did when his thoughts were somewhere other than where they should be, she bit her lip obviously trying to hold back a smile.

"Like what you see?" she teased with a sassy smile and a little twirl.

"Uh…you're not wearing anything," he replied dumbly, completely taken aback by the alien that had invaded his girlfriend's body. Taking a step towards him, her free hand snaked up behind his neck to draw him closer as the other still clutched the towel around her body. He could feel the damp heat from her skin as her bare arm lay across his shoulder and her hot breath in his ear sent a thrill through his body that landed firmly in his groin.

"I know that," she whispered in an ultra-sexy voice he'd _never_ heard from her before, "and no need to answer baby, I can tell you do."

_Baby? Since when did his girlfriend call him baby?_

Pressing herself up against him deliberately, her lips parted as they met his slightly gaping ones in a slow teasing kiss. Nibbling on his bottom lip, she soothingly ran her tongue across it before pressing her mouth firmly against his and darting her tongue inside.

_OK this is serious makeout territory – usually it takes at least half an hour to get to this level of hot plus she's wearing nothing but a towel…_

With a moan, Finn abandoned any attempts at understanding her behaviour or looking for suspicous packages and took what she offered. Wrapping his arms firmly around her and pulling her closer he was vaguely aware that her other arm had snaked up around his neck drawing him further into the kiss. His brain wasn't functioning fully but he was pretty sure that meant there was nothing holding this towel up but their bodies.

How long they continued like that Finn had no idea, but when his lips latched onto the sweet smelling and slightly damp skin of her neck, sucking lightly and moving to her bare shoulder, the moan she gave out and undulations of her body told him she was as turned on as he was. His hand slipped south landing on the back of her thigh before traversing upwards again, his thumb brushing the edge of the towel as his palm firmly cupped the curve of her bare backside.

_Oh wow…..she totally has the best ass…._

"RACHEL?" came the stern voice of Leroy Berry from close outside the door, causing Finn to freeze and Rachel to jump back in alarm.

"Yes daddy?" she answered shakily, hands grasping at her temporary but rapidly slipping cover.

"Finn is here, your bedroom door is closed and I can't hear you singing young lady",

"I was just brushing my teeth," she replied, her voice muffled against his shoulder as she pushed herself up against him again, using his body to hold up the towel that had nearly fallen to the floor while she attempted to readjust and get some decent coverage.

"I trust you sweetie but I want this door open in 30 seconds or I'm coming in there."

"Oh my gosh - we are dead if he sees me like this," she whispered indicating her near naked state.

"What about me?" Finn squeaked back in reply his eyes indicating a pretty obvious boner.

"Just pick me something to wear and improvise!," she answered disappearing into the bathroom.

True to his word no more than 30 seconds later, the door opened to reveal a very suspicious looking Leroy Berry. With a raised brow he glanced quickly around the room, before landing on the young man who lay belly down on the bed, seemingly engrossed in reading a magazine. Sauntering closer he glanced over Finn's shoulder at the pages that lay open before him, clearing his throat deliberately at the detailed spread.

"Interesting reading Finn?" he asked casually.

"Uh, yeah," the younger man replied suddenly worried he was about to get quizzed to prove he really had been lying there reading for the last 10 minutes. In his quest to act on Rachel's instructions he'd managed only to grab the nearest dress, toss it into the bathroom and grab the magazine letting it fall open at a couple of well thumbed pages, before tossing himself on the bed giving him a way of concealing his completely inappropriate arousal. Less than a second later the door had burst open revealing a very suspicious looking father. Finn hadn't even had opportunity to look at what lay before him but as he did now his face flushed bright red.

_Crap…who knew Cosmo was a porn magazine for chicks…but wait why are they showing detailed photo's of **women****'****s** junk? Shouldn't they have men's? And why are there arrows and illustrations?_

Finn's eyes widened as he read the wording at the top of the page – **Understanding ****the F****emale O****rgasm.**

Slamming the magazine shut he hastily stood up pretty sure his boner had instantly disappeared in the mortification of what he'd just been caught reading.

"Uhh…" he stammered absolutely at a loss as to what to say to the man whose arms were now crossed in front of him and obviously awaiting an explanation, "I was uh, just flicking through, I wasn't really reading that bit or anything."

After a long minute of silence, to Finn's complete surprise Leroy's stern façade cracked and he actually laughed slapping Finn lightly on the shoulder.

"Well I hope you kids aren't up to that yet but it never hurts to be prepared." Then nudging Finn in a weird moment of geniality he continued in a conspiratorial tone. "Just between you and me, a little study is probably a good idea - I may be Rachel's daddy but we always expect the best for our baby girl. We've raised her with high standards and we hate to see her disappointed. You'll need to be on your game son."

He trailed off with a significant look before turning on his heel and leaving the room. Finn stood rooted to the spot absolutely mortified. When Rachel emerged from the bathroom a moment later smiling sweetly and looking completely innocent Finn was still deep in thought over her father's words. He was caught between trying to decipher the meaning and the way in which they'd been delivered. That Rachel's father had more or less told him to study up on how to bring his daughter to orgasm was pretty clear, less certain was whether it was friendly advice or a threat. Oddly, he had bad feeling it was the later…

**Song is 'At Last' by Etta James – look it up it's awesome and they should totally do it on Glee.**

**Reviews are most welcome :)**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N Apologies again for the delay, I have very little writing time at the moment but I'm hoping to wind this up in a few more chapters so thanks for being patient (for those who are still hanging in there!). Thanks to all those who've reviewed and added to favourites – great to know people are actually reading!**

**Disclaimer – don't own Glee**

**Chapter 10**

When Finn arrived at school that morning Puck was leaning against his truck, his casual stance belying the impatience he felt in waiting for his friend's arrival. The mohawked teen nodded innocently at Rachel as Finn parked up, then silently raised his hands in question as soon as the small diva turned her head to remove her seat belt. Finn merely shook his head, which prompted an exaggerated eye roll from the boy.

Rachel remained oblivious to the by-play, jumping down and closing the truck door as Santana's sleek BMW pulled up on the other side of them. Barely had the car came to a halt when Brittney leapt out of the passenger door, rushed over to embrace Rachel in a huge hug and squealed loudly as she kissed her on the cheek.

"Oh my God I can't believe you spent all weekend practising the cello," she enthused, "That is so awesome!"

Finn raised his eyebrows in surprise and confusion at the blonde's cryptic words and behaviour. He had no idea what she was talking about and totally would have written it off as Brittney being Brittney if it weren't for the reaction of everyone else around him. Puck, usually pretty smooth around the ladies, spontaneously snorted coffee out his nose, Rachel, always in control, turned bright red while she tried to stop the other girls exuberant speech and Santana deliberately looked at _him_, totally smirking at the confused expression on his face.

Yeah he wasn't super smart but something was definitely off. Firstly, Rachel didn't ever talk to Brittney and now they were acting like best friends (it wasn't an active dislike, more that Rachel found it too confusingly frustrating and a waste of time trying to maintain a conversation with her). Secondly, Rachel didn't play the Cello, didn't play any instrument, in fact was always saying that her voice was her instrument and why would she waste her time learning something that would always be inferior to her god given talents.

"What the hell's going on?" he said looking at everyone, "Am I missing something here?"

Puck smirked and rolled his eyes as Santana's jaw dropped. "Seriously? You cannot be that dumb…"

"Santana!" Rachel interjected sharply glaring at the other girl.

"Oh my God Berry," she replied laughing, "it's nothing to be embarrassed about – we all do it!"

"Yeah," intoned Brittney, "It's like the most fun you can have by yourself, except motocross which is pretty fun. Hey maybe I can teach you that next weekend since Santana's totally skilled you up on…."

"That sounds absolutely amazing" Rachel said loudly trying to cover the other girls words as she dragged her towards the school building and out of hearing range, "I've been dying to try it, whatever it is you do on those motorbike thingies…" Casting a glance over her shoulder she motioned with her head to Santana, pleading without words for her to follow them out of the potentially mortifying scenario that had just gone down. Santana pushed herself off the car fully intending to do just that when Puck stepped in front of her effectively halting her steps.

"Not so fast 'tana," he said casually.

Santana raised an eyebrow, but rather than attempting to follow the other girls she leaned back against her BMW, crossing her arms across her chest.

Finn looked totally confused, caught between Santana and Puck and the sight of his rapidly retreating girlfriend who kept looking over her shoulder in near panic at the three of them standing together.

When no-one spoke for a full minute Santana eventually shrugged with feigned innocence. "What?"

"You know what 'tana," Puck continued in his casual tone, "what the hell is going on with you and Berry?"

"Yeah," Finn interjected suddenly catching on, "and no more playing dumb, something's up and I want to know what it is."

Instead of replying, Santana carefully studied her nails as if she'd never heard them.

"Come on San ," Puck pleaded trying to appeal to her better nature, "we've both fucked around with their relationship enough already, don't you think we kind of owe it to them?"

"Ugh, fine," she groaned, "this is getting seriously old and I'd rather deal with Britt than you two dumbasses trying to play good cop, bad cop anyway."

The boys perked up, smiling smugly as she readjusted her position against the car.

When she was sure she had their full attention she looked them both in the eye and stated matter of factly, "I've been teaching her about sex."

There was a long minute of deathly silence when they both looked at each other and then back at her before exclaiming in unison, "What?"

"Our hot little Jewish princess wanted to learn about sex," she replied slowly as if she was spelling it out for a child. "And because I'm so awesome, I've been giving her lessons."

Finn stuttered slightly trying to get words out while Puck stood there stunned, jaw dropped and eyes slightly glazed at the revelation that what they'd both half-imagined and then dismissed, might actually be true.

Taking in their expressions before rolling her eyes and laughing she continued, "Oh my God, you guys are seriously pathetic. I'm not talking any girl on girl action here…."

"Good," Finn interrupted finally finding his words, "'cos I'm not cool with that. Rachel's _my_ girl…"

"Just so you know," she interrupted pointing a finger at Finn, "I'm not intimidated by your macho territorialism bullshit and I totally would have tapped that if I'd wanted to."

"She shot you down didn't she?" Puck smirked.

Santana rolled her eyes crossing her arms across her chest again.

Finn licked his lips nervously, blown away by the revelation of Santana and Rachel's secret project. I mean it shouldn't have been a complete surprise that it was something like that given the way his girlfriend had been acting lately but why hadn't she mentioned anything to him? Part of him was kind of offended that she'd asked for advice from someone else; and going to Santana of all people was just plain weird. I mean _they_ hated each other, _he__'__d_ lost his virginity to her and she was a notoriously unsympathetic bitch who tortured people for fun. I mean Rachel was his girlfriend and she hadn't even told _him_ she was ready to have sex, last time they'd talked about it she was gonna wait til she was 25. At that thought something clicked in his brain turning his thoughts from the why's and wherefore's to what it actually meant.

_Oh…._

"So does this mean that Rachel wants to have sex with me?" he asked slowly as if afraid of the answer.

Santana raised a brow in reply as if questioning the other girls's sanity. "yeah, surprised me too, didn't even change her mind after I told her just how awesome you were in the sack."

"Wow," he replied dumbfounded.

"Totally," she agreed sarcastically, "Just goes to show that love is blind and in Berry's case completely retarded as well."

"Cool it Santana" Puck warned as he watched his friend digest her words.

"So uh, what do you mean exactly 'teaching her about sex'?" he said eventually.

"What it sounds like Finntard – teaching her how to have good sex."

"Ok not to point out the obvious here Santana," Finn replied getting annoyed, "but shouldn't that be my job - you do know she is _my_ girlfriend don't you?"

"Who came to _me_ for expert advice."

"Bum steer I'd say," Finn replied eyes narrowing , "from memory you weren't that good…."

Puck snorted in the background, backing away slightly from the pair who now stood toe to toe staring each other down.

"Takes two to tango Fineptitude," Santana snarked, "''s a bit hard to perform miracles when your partners trying to break the land speed record for fastest lay. I can't rock your world if you can't rock mine."

"Yeah well it was my first time," he replied defensively.

"Can only use that excuse once Hudson," she answered smugly.

Finn rolled his eyes recalling the many reasons why he hated Santana lopez. "I just don't get it. Why would she come to you though?"

"Put it this way - what do you know about foreplay."

"Huh?"

"Foreplay," Santana repeated slowly, "you know that hour or so before the actual sex where you spend time getting everyone in the mood? You know that bit you skipped completely in the 5 minutes we spent in the Shady Glades last summer?"

"Oh right, like making out."

"I got this 'tana," Puck interrupted with a smirk, "Finn's my boy and it _is_ my area of special expertise."

Santana snorted. "Get over yourself Puckerman – you learnt everything you know from me and a bunch of mom's."

"Hey!" he shouted offended.

"Seriously Puck – not to burst your bubble or anything, But it was totally like training a blind guide dog."

"So all those times you were screaming my name was 'cos I was waaaay off target," he smirked sarcastically.

"Duh….why do you think I ended up getting it pierced? I had to put a freakin' ring in it just so you could find it!"

Finn's eyes widened and he leant back from the two who were now nose to nose in front of him. "Seriously guys, this is like too much information. I may not know much but I'm good to work this out on my own."

"No you're not," they both replied in unison.

"I'm not?"

Both just shook their heads looking at him seriously. Santana pushed him back onto the car next to them getting right up in his face.

"And just so you know - you don't get into my girl Berry's panties until you can navigate your way around girl parts blindfolded."

"I…I don't?"

"No, You don't. I haven't wasted the last week skilling her up only for your bumbling ineptitude to totally screw it up."

"Okay," he replied wondering how this had suddenly become about him.

"This is how it is Finnocence - if you want your sex life with Rachel to last longer than ours did you needs to start doing some homework. Girls a perfectionist you know so she's gonna want something more than a horny teen with his training wheels still on."

Finn swallowed heavily as her words echoed what Rachel's father had said to him less than an hour ago. He hated to admit it but she was totally right. He had no idea what he was doing and Rachel expected and deserved the best in everything.

"Uh so what did you have in mind," he continued nervously as he slowly eased out from under the pointed finger pressed against his chest. "'cos I am _not_ getting in bed with you again – I'm not down with that _at__all_."

Santana snorted backing off a little, "Relax Frankenteen, it wasn't an invitation – I don't make the same mistake twice. My place, this afternoon, everybody keeps their clothes on."

And with that she turned and left dismissing both boys without another word.

"Can I come too?" Puck called after her to which she merely flipped the bird in reply. Finn smacked him on the arm frowning.

"What?" Puck replied palms raised in question, "I got nothin' on and I'm down for at least talking about sex if I ain't doin' it."

* * *

><p>In the hallways of McKinley High, Rachel Berry huddled close to her locker absolutely mortified, trying hard not to think about what Puck, Finn and Santana could possibly be talking about in the car park.<p>

And the day had started so well!

After her enlightening weekend she'd felt totally relaxed and confident when Finn had surprised her that morning, not at all bothered by the fact that she'd been all but naked in his arms at one point, his warm strong hands reaching new territory beneath her towel…..

Realising she was still in the middle of her high school corridor she shook herself of those warm thoughts, trying to focus on the bigger picture and not the image of Finn's hand on her bare backside. Truth be told, it had been kind of exciting. Barring the near miss with the not very carefully hidden fake phallus and her father's untimely reminder about house rules, she'd thought their tete-a-tete had gone remarkably well.

But now she wasn't so sure. Yes she was more comfortable with the concept of sex, of how to relax and enjoy those intimate moments with her boyfriend and was now looking forward at exploring those moments further. What she wasn't sure about was how Finn would take the revelation of her research methods. To be honest she hadn't thought this far when she'd asked Santana for advice, hadn't actually realised how comprehensive the other's girls tutelage would be. Although not dissatisfied with the end result, she had zero confidence in Santana's ability to be discrete; in fact she was quite certain the Latina would take any opportunity to reveal the truth for her own amusement. In fact was quite certain Finn would know every gritty detail by now…

Sighing she threw her books in her locker as the bell rang, giving up on the idea of catching him before their first class to try and explain herself. For once she wished they shared a few more classes than just Spanish, dreading the knowledge that she'd have to sit through two hours of wondering what he must be thinking before she'd have any chance of smoothing things over. Spotting him at the end of the hallway she took a step towards him then halted as her worst fears were confirmed. He looked at her, froze, dropped his eyes to the floor then promptly headed in the other direction; classic Finn avoidance behaviour.

All through her first two periods she toyed with her phone trying to come up with a light-hearted way of breaking the ice, problem was levity really wasn't her strong point. She was a drama queen through and through, joking about things wasn't really her way. Nor was letting things lie. Problems were to be dealt with head on, to be talked about, worked through until resolution whether Finn wanted to or not. Unfortunately his idea of dealing with a problem was more akin to an Ostrich's penchant for sticking its head in the sand. Whenever he didn't know how to deal with a situation, didn't know what to say to her, he just shutdown. She'd been there before, sometimes for days at a time, waiting (usually impatiently) till he worked through his feelings about whatever it was that had upset him.

And she was right. Finn pretty much avoided her for the rest of the day, the few times they made eye contact leading to a blush on his cheeks then causing a similar hue to grace hers. Texting got pretty much nowhere - she tried the light-hearted "missed you this morning – wanna meet up at lunch?" and didn't get a reply. The direct, "can we talk?" was met with similar silence, but at least the flirtatious, "come over this afternoon? my dad's will be home late…" got a brief response, not exactly what she'd been hoping for though. Staring despairingly at the vague 'can't today – got plans already' she was caught between anger and mortification – maybe their interlude this morning had meant more to her than it had to him? Or was he turned off by her sexually aggressive behaviour? Casting her mind back to a long-ago episode involving lots of lycra, a curling iron and an ill-timed Grease song, she realised it wouldn't be the first time.

Home alone after school she bolstered her resolve and dialled his cell number, jumping almost giddily on her bed when he answered, only to be disappointed when he hastily said he was kind of busy and he'd call her later. She wasn't sure but she was pretty sure she heard Puck in the background.

In despair she called Santana hoping to vent her frustration and get to the bottom of what had down that morning. She was equally as evasive and a lot more blunt in her reply. Assuring Rachel that not talking to Finn for the day was not a disaster, but actually a blessing, the Latina neatly avoided the question of what she had told the tall quarterback that morning by hanging up. Rachel rolled her eyes in frustration, something that was becoming a regular habit of late, before frowning in confusion; The laughter she could hear in the background she was pretty sure belonged to a certain mohawked teen.

**If you liked it please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N: So sorry that this has taken so long to update. With xmas and a laptop crash I'm way behind on everything. This chapter was meant to be longer but I'm just going to post what I've done to actually get something out.**

**Disclaimer: don't own Glee – wish I did, but just borrowing the characters **

**What you missed on Glee….**

**Finn and Rachel are having a little problem with their sex life, so Rachel goes to Santana for some expert tips. Now she's all skilled up and ready to go, but Finn doesn't really know what he's doing. Santana isn't going to leave a job half done though, so with a little 'help' from Puck she's taken on the impossible mission of trying to teach a teenage boy how to have good sex…. **

**Chapter 11**

By the time Finn arrived at Santana's house that afternoon he was in a total daze. Throughout the day his thoughts hadn't gone far from the conversation with Santana and Puck, as he tried desperately to make sense of it all. Even after a day of meditating on it he still wasn't sure what to think. It didn't help that every time he'd got near to understanding, his thoughts where completely hijacked by random, although surprisingly lucid, images of Rachel and sex. Of him and Rachel having sex…..

_Sometimes being a teenaged boy really sucked._

For example fourth period history ended up being an extended version of what could have happened after he'd got his hand under her bath towel that morning, his vivid and eager imagination coming up with at least five different endings, none of which included her dad interrupting them. Although, each of them _did_ include Rachel naked beneath him on her bed, her lips on his neck, her hot breathy moans tickling his ears…..

_Yeah it totally sucked being a teenage boy…._

To make matters worse Puck stuck to him like glue all day, every now and then slapping him on the back or nudging him in the ribs while wearing that stupid cheesy grin. Geez, Finn thought to himself, if he was this much of an idiot before they even had sex what was he going to be like when they finally did it?

And then there was Rachel. Right now he didn't know what to say and yeah he was being a total pussy by avoiding her but to be honest he couldn't get anywhere near her without _those_ thoughts popping into his head. Every time he saw her she kept giving him intense 'we need to talk' looks and all he could think was _I touched her butt and we're gonna have sex soon_.

It was not a conversation he wanted to have in public - he'd totally had enough boners in the McKinley high hallways that week to last him a lifetime. Besides, with sports wound up for the school year and nothing better to do, Coach Sylvester spent most of her time patrolling the halls with a steel ruler, her eagle eyed gaze looking for any student infringements. He'd seen her twice bring dudes to their knees just looking at their girlfriends. He totally didn't want to join _that_ club and the way things were going with Rachel at the moment he knew he had to be on her list.

To be honest he didn't know what to expect at Santana's. They'd started off flipping through a couple of magazines with lots of photos and diagrams of girls private parts, similar to what he'd been caught reading that morning. And if he'd thought Rachel's dad catching him reading that stuff was uncomfortable, it was nothing compared to lying on a bed with Santana leaning over his shoulder while she grilled him on his knowledge of female anatomy. Yeah he was totally inexperienced but he thought he'd had a pretty good idea of what went where and what all the important parts did. Turns out, _not_.

When he failed her first pop quiz pretty much through sheer embarrassment she simply rolled her eyes, hopped off the bed and went in search of beer calling out behind her that he had 15 minutes to study up and if he couldn't name all the girl parts and erogenous zones she was totally kicking his ass out and going for Berry herself.

Puck merely snorted in amusement then buried himself in Santana's extensive girl porn collection, answering Finn's concerned "is she serious?" by holding up a magazine which showed two naked women in the middle of…. _you know_.

Oh yeah, and apparently, according to Puck, Santana _never_ joked about sex.

That got him moving like nothing else. Burying his head in the magazine he easily aced her next quiz which earned him a beer from the six-pack she'd managed to pilfer from god knows where.

"OK so now you know all the parts," the Latina started as she lay back on the bed with a beer in hand, "now you're going to have to do it by feel. Here, give me your hand…"

"Uh…" Finn said squirming uncomfortably, "I'm not touching you Santana. I'm not cool with it and Rachel would definitely not be cool with it."

"I'll do it!" Puck interjected his head suddenly appearing over the top of the copy of 'titanic titties' he'd been completely engrossed in.

"As much as you need practise Puckerman I'm going to have to say no." Santana replied with fake politeness. "training one sensorially challenged teenager for the day is probably going to be my limit."

Puck merely lifted a finger and returned to his reading.

"Relax Finnocence," she continued addressing the other boy, as she reached into a bedside drawer pulling a rubberised object from it which she then tossed on the bed. "I've got a fake one for you to practise on since you seem to be allergic to the real thing."

"Just 'cos I don't want to touch yours doesn't mean I don't wanna touch Rachel's", Finn argued.

"I wanna touch both of them…" Puck muttered, his head appearing over the magazine again. "…preferably at the same time."

"Will you shut up!" Finn snapped causing Santana to widen her eyes a little, her hands coming up in mock surrender.

"OK Finntard we get the picture, no three-ways for you and little Barbra."

She pulled out a file, studying her nails nonchalantly as she continued. "Have to say I'm kinda disappointed though. I was hoping when you guys got bored with exploring the infinite possibilities of the missionary position you might have been up for a little variety."

Puck scoffed raising his eyebrows at Santana. "You told me Hudson was the worst lay you ever had."

"He was," she replied kicking his booted feet off the bed, "but complete lack of skill and weird pyramid nipples aside, he's 6'3 and built to match, plus I'd have Berry's totally hot little body there to distract me from his incompetence."

"Hot?" Puck snorted holding the magazine up, "her tits look like ant bites compared to these."

"Hey!" Finn yelled, "Rachel's boobs are totally awesome!"

"I wouldn't know," Puck replied, "whenever I try to check 'em out I get completely distracted by whatever stupid animal she has on her sweater."

"You're just pissed that she never let you touch them," Santana snarked.

"What - Like she let you? Gimme a break…" puck snapped back.

"I got her down to her underwear at least…"

"Can we not talk about my girlfriend like this!" Finn yelled his eyes squeezed shut in frustration before suddenly popping wide open in surprise. "Wait, you've seen Rachel in her underwear?"

Santana nodded slowly, a teasing smirk on her face. "You should be thanking me - I totally maxed out Berry's debit card at Victoria's Secret last week."

She almost laughed at the suddenly glazed expression in his eyes and she was pretty sure a little drool was starting to form at the edge of his mouth.

"Okay," the Latina intoned slowly snapping her fingers in front of his face when the faraway expression didn't immediately disappear. When he still failed to respond she tossed the rubber object at him where it bounced off his forehead and landed in his lap leaving him looking down at it with a confused expression. Puck laughed at his friend's reaction as he held his hands up and muttered "What the….?

"Now that I have your attention dribbly McDudson," Santana interrupted. "Let's get back to business." Seeing she had captured the interest of both boys she looked them in the eye as she continued. "What's the most important part of your body when it comes to having good sex?"

"Easy," Puck interjected, "my dick."

Santana shook her head earning a sceptical frown from the boy before looking expectantly at Finn.

"Uh….my balls?" he replied doubtfully.

"Wrong, both of you. It's your brain."

"My brain - what the F…..?" Puck exclaimed, "I don't need to be thinking in the middle of doing the business. The Puckasaurus goes by instinct."

"Which is why you're such an awesome lay," she replied dryly. "Seriously," she continued turning to Finn, "if you want to show Berry delicious a good time you're going to have to pay attention."

"Ok" he replied nodding dumbly.

"Biggest misconception about sex," she started, confident that she now had at least one boy's full attention, "chicks don't get off by guys jamming their cock or fingers or anything else in as far as they'll go; all it gives us is a pain in the cervix. The clitoris" she said pointing at the small nodule on the rubberised model while deliberately ignoring the exaggerated scoff from the other side of the bed, "is the star of the show."

Finn nodded in understanding. "To _some_ guys," she continued with a meaningful glance at Puck, "the clitoris is like a doorbell - they just press it and hope someone comes. But this little sucker is Nature's rubix cube and that is why you need to engage your brain and not your libido if you wanna do it right."

"Rubix cubes?" Finn asked in confusion. "Aren't they those like cube puzzles where you have to get everything in the right spot at the same time and they're impossible to figure out?"

Santana nodded with a smirk. Finn's mouth formed a small 'o' a long moment later as he digested this information.

"So here's the dope dough boy," the Latina continued cracking another beer and handing it to the now forlorn looking teenager, "and you may want to start taking notes…."

And if Finn had thought he was getting somewhere, it all went downhill from there. While Santana had plenty of good advice, with Puck always ready to argue the point and interject lewd comments (mostly about Rachel) the rest of the afternoon was a complete write off. Trading beer and insults they squabbled over everything from the quickest/most reliable/most awesome ways to get a girl off to how you could tell when a girl was faking. That opened up a whole new can of worms for Finn, 'cos yeah, Rachel was like an awesome actress and if she could cry on demand who was to say she couldn't do _that_ on demand either? Santana then nudged him in what was meant to be reassurance, stating confidently that she knew for a fact that mini-Barbra was a total screamer, so yeah it would be really easy to tell. Puck then slammed his beer down and launched into a frustrated rant about how he totally knew Berry was going to be a tiger in the sack and how he _should_ have banged her when he had the opportunity. He then blamed Finn for the feelings of best-friend loyalty that had kicked in six-months before, making him leave a willing and ready Rachel alone on her floral bedspread. Finn's stomach dropped at the memory of that painful time as he felt like he'd taken a kick to the nads. He knew it had been a while since Lauren dumped Puck's sorry ass but that was _his_ girlfriend he was talking about. _Not cool_.

And besides, how the hell did Santana know that Rachel was … _loud_, when she…_you know_?

That then led to a discussion about what exactly she and Rachel had been getting up to on their afternoons together. When Santana casually informed the boys that aside from lingerie shopping and redecorating, they had done a little bikini line maintenance, drank wine and watched a skin flick together as if it was the most natural thing for 17 year old girls to be doing on a school afternoon. Both boys were gobsmacked. On the one hand Finn was reassured that there had been no hands on lessons, on the other he was totally furious. Santana made Rachel watch porn? _Totally not cool._

When Puck then complained petulantly that they didn't get to watch porn in _their_ sex ed sessions, that he and Finn had to settle for stupid cosmopolitan sealed sections and kinky sex aids, Santana smirked, letting slip the small fact that Rachel had got one of those as well.

Santana got Rachel a _sex toy_? _Beyond not cool_…..

Finn was furious, but instead of storming out and kicking chairs like he normally would he grabbed another beer and slammed it, and then another and another. With Puck and Santana still arguing over God knows what he tuned out and brooded over the mess of his non-existent sex life and the waste of an afternoon he could have spent trying to fix that mess with his totally hot girlfriend. After two hours of squabbling between the other two, all he'd got out of it was that Rachel's clitoris was about to become his best friend and that getting a girl to orgasm was really, _really_ complicated. The first part of it he was actually kind of OK with, 'cos at this very moment, Puck was being a totally douchey best friend. The second part, not so much.

When Santana slapped him upside the head an hour later chastising him for zoning out in the middle of the session he looked up with a mildly dazed expression.

"These tips are gold Hudson," she groused, "where else are you going to find a sex ed teacher who knows what it feels like for a girl but is also a total ace at getting them off?"

Finn just shrugged, staring stupidly at the empty beer can in his hand and wondering how he'd managed to drink four while the others were still nursing their first.

Santana merely rolled her eyes, hopping off the bed and opening the door in an invitation for the boys to leave. "You know what," she said as he stumbled past, "Just let Berry run the show Finneptitude, she's a control freak anyway and she totally wears the pants in your relationship already."

"No way!," Puck exclaimed turning to Finn earnestly as he stumbled down the stairs. "Dude, seriously, you gotta lay down the rules from the word go. Chicks totally dig it when you take control."

"That might work if Dudson here was as studious as his girlfriend, "Santana interrupted, "'cos thanks to me, and unlike you, _she_ totally knows what she's doing. And after our little discussion in the car park this morning, we all know she's been practising."

"wait," Finn said trying desperately to sober up and make sense of what Santana was saying. "what?"

Puck snorted, while Santana just raised a brow at him. At Finn's continued blank expression, Puck slapped him upside the head.

"Dude – remember the conversation this morning? Rachel practising the cello?"

Finn just shrugged, shaking his head in confusion until eventually, as Puck mimicked the actions, a light of recognition suddenly appeared in his eyes.

"Fuck….." he swore, "Seriously?"

Both Santana and Puck looked at each other, rolled their eyes in unison before turning back to him and nodding.

"Why am I the only one who didn't know about this?"

"Because you are about as perceptive as an Amazonian sloth," Santana retorted, "which isn't saying much 'cos those little suckers sleep like 23 ½ hours a day."

Finn just stood there stupidly trying to fit all the pieces together. Rachel's behaviour, the redecorating, that weird IM conversation the other night…

_Wow…. my girlfriend Rachel, as in total control freak Rachel, has been doing that?_

_Actually, that part is kind of cool…._


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N Its been ages since I've updated but work and life in general got ridiculously busy so apologies for those who have been sticking with this story. I've probably only got another 2 chapters so will make a concerted effort to get it all done by xmas.**

**Disclaimer – don't own Glee, just borrowing characters...**

**Previously on Glee….**

**Finn and Rachel are having a little problem with their sex life, so Rachel goes to Santana for some expert tips. After skilling up Rachel, Santana takes on the job of trying to teach Finn how to have good sex, leading to some friction between our favourite couple...not helped by an unhealthy amount of unrelieved sexual frustration...**

**When we left off Finn had spent the afternoon 'studying' with Santana and Puck….**

**Chapter 12 **

If Rachel thought things were bad on Monday afternoon, by Tuesday they were much worse. Her before school singing lesson meant she wouldn't see Finn until mid-morning recess. Her morning classes dragged and when the end of third period bell sent everyone to the cafeteria for sustenance, Finn was nowhere to be found. Puck just shrugged his shoulders with a knowing smirk when she asked where her boyfriend was before winking smugly and offering to stand in Finn's stead for whatever she might need. Rachel rolled her eyes in frustration, desperate to know what the mohawked teen had been doing with Santana and Finn the previous afternoon but refusing to give him the satisfaction of asking. Santana likewise was being deliberately obtuse regarding _her_ after school activities and she knew better than to persist with that line of questioning.

To add to her building frustration, Brittney waylaid her for the entire break outlining her carefully thought out plans to introduce the unwilling diva to motocross that coming weekend. Rachel could barely drive a car let alone tackle anything on two wheels and for once she wished that her fathers had been a little less indulgent of her childhood determination that she didn't need to ride a bike because no-one ever cycled in New York. Not that she actually intended going motocross riding that weekend. No, she fully intended to be doing something else entirely, with her boyfriend, if she ever managed to track him down…

* * *

><p>"We need to talk!"<p>

Finn started awake at the sound of Rachel's voice. It was tinged with anger and punctuated by the sharp thud of books hitting a chair causing his post beer blast headache to return full force. He'd spent most of the day in sick bay until the nurse had kicked him out at which time he'd snuck into the choir room to continue his nap, completely forgetting that they had Glee club that afternoon.

"wh….what?" he muttered, hastily wiping the sliver of drool from the side of his mouth.

"I've been looking for you all day. Where _were_ you last night?"

"At…at home," he stammered still trying to get his head together. "I was asleep."

"I rang you exactly twelve times, between six pm and ten fifteen, and not once did you answer the phone."

"Stalker…" Puck muttered as he entered the choir room.

"Shut-it Puckerman" the irate diva replied.

"Chillax Berry," he replied casually landing in the seat next to his suffering best friend, slapping a hand on his back. "Finn was with me."

Rachel folded her arms across her chest with a frown, eyeing both boys suspiciously. "So why exactly were you _sleeping_ with Noah, Finn?"

"Huh?, I wasn't sleeping with anyone," he replied confused.

"I'm relieved to hear it," she snapped, "because I have reason to believe you were with both Puck _and_ Santana yesterday afternoon."

"So what if he was?" Puck interjected, "'s not a crime."

"No it's not," she stated with forced calmness, "I'm just trying to understand what possible reason my boyfriend could have for lying to me about being home asleep when he was obviously with Santana?"

Puck casually leaned back in his chair so he could enjoy the full spectacle of Rachel's reaction while answering smugly, "Same damn reason you've been hanging out with her."

She didn't disappoint, her mouth dropping open as she looked uncertainly between the boys, a red tinge slowly creeping up her cheeks as the anger faded to something closer to embarrassment.

"You…you talked to Santana about…._us_" She queried looking at Finn her face now bright red. "How could you? You know how sensitive I am about you spending time with her let alone talking about..._that_ with her."

"Well I'm not cool with you hanging out with her either," he muttered, "especially when I know she's like…. into you."

"I'm perfectly capable of dealing with unwanted sexual advances regardless of whether they are of a feminine or masculine nature," she replied primly flipping her hair behind her as she took a seat. "I'm more concerned about _you_ given your past history."

"Well you shouldn't be," he replied tiredly, "even if she offered you know I'd say no. We promised each other we'd never do stupid stuff like that again."

"Exactly!" Rachel replied taking his hand and squeezing it lightly before leaning in for a tender kiss.

There was a long pause before Puck interjected into the lengthening silence, reminding the now enraptured pair of his presence.

"So Berry, if you guys weren't like, dating…_would_ you?"

"Would I what?"

"You know, hook up with Santana."

"_Noah_!" she cried before continuing with forced patience, "while I appreciate your interest in Finn and my relationship issues, could you please just refrain from interjecting _completely irrelevant questions!_"

"What?" he shrugged innocently, "I'm just, you know, curious is all."

"As to whether I'm bi-curios?" she replied rolling her eyes as she felt her temper rising again. "What do you think?"

"I don't know," he replied leaning in with a wink, "'s why I'm asking."

"You have two gay dads," Finn added trying to be helpful.

Rachel rounded on her boyfriend dumbfounded. "Is Burt gay?"

"What? No!"

"It's not genetic Finn!" she cried exasperated, "Why are you even asking me this?"

"Well she's like chick crazy and she's obviously into you…." Puck finished with a shrug.

"Yeah and she's like super-hot and she keeps going on about how much she wants to get in your panties, and how hot you are in your underwear…and I just…she like….you know…." Finn continued only realising his word vomit was getting him into serious trouble again when his girlfriend turned to him with fury in her eyes.

"No I don't know," Rachel replied between clenched teeth the frustration of the last week rapidly coming to the fore again, "spit it out Finn."

"Um, well she's really good at talking people into stuff you know," he replied backpedalling fast. "I…I mean I never really wanted to sleep with her, she kind of just talked me into it," he finished looking down at his hands as he suddenly realised this rationale was not helping matters at all.

Puck snorted beside him before glancing at Rachel, his eyes then widening in concern for his friend at the expression on her face. She was deadly quiet for a long moment but the way her nostrils flared he knew she was about to let loose with a total diva fit. When she eventually spoke her words were quiet and even, her teeth gritted firmly together.

"As much as I abhor gender specific stereotypes, the only way I can justify your logic and line of questioning at the moment, is by accepting that you're reasoning is completely influenced by the fact that you are a _boy_ and that when it comes to matters carnal you apparently think with another part of your anatomy."

Puck snorted as Finn looked at her in fearful confusion. "Ah, you kind of lost me there Rach…"

"Let me spell it out for you then," she stated leaning in and speaking with false sweetness in her tone. "Regardless of whether I harbour any temptation to allow Santana 'into my panties' as you so succinctly put it, it is certainly one place that you won't be going for a VERY…LONG…TIME…."

And with that she executed a perfectly practised diva storm out, brushing past Santana in silent fury as the Latina sauntered casually into the room.

"Owwwww," Puck groaned as if he'd just been kicked in the nads. "Totally owned Hudson. But you know dude," he continued nudging him in the ribs and waggling his eyebrows, "she never denied it."

"Denied what?" Santana asked as she cast a curious glance in the wake of the departing diva.

"Whether Berry would do you…."

"Huh," she replied obviously amused, a slight smirk appearing on her lips.

Her self-satisfaction lasted only a minute though as she took in the sight of the two boys before her; Puck, cocky as ever, lounging casually next to Finn who sat with his head in his hands, fingers gripping his hair in frustration. Her eyes automatically went to the doorway the irate diva had passed through a minute before as she shook her head with a sigh.

"Please don't tell me you fucked up again Hudson…."

* * *

><p>An hour later and Rachel was still ridiculously wound up; a vigorous session on the elliptical did nothing to relieve her mood, leaving her only sweaty and tired, a subsequent shower and impromptu sing-a-long left her just as tense as when she'd arrived home. She briefly contemplated relieving her tension in <em>another<em> way, however that thought was quickly squashed by the recollection that she kind of needed a little inspiration to get things moving, and at the moment she couldn't even begin to think of her infantile boyfriend in that way. As stupid as her conversation with Finn was, she couldn't deny that she had created the whole mess in the first place. Ironically, her plans to bring them closer together had only succeeded in pushing them further apart. And for once she had no idea how to fix things.

As she studied the contents of the fridge, she pondered the fact that turning to food was just another distraction. Besides, she really didn't want her dad's delving into her business which they inevitably would do when they returned home to a kitchen full of sugar cookies. Lost in thought she almost didn't hear the bell ring, but could hardly ignore the sound of Santana's voice accompanied by a heavy fist pounding against the front door a moment later.

"I know you're there Berry, open up…." She stopped mid-sentence as the small diva swung the door open.

"I'm really NOT in the mood Santana," the smaller girl stated, hands firmly on hips.

"And you think _I _want to be here?" the Latina countered pushing past her.

Rachel frowned, turning to follow as she closed the door, only to have the door push back against her hand. Turning, she started at the sight of her boyfriend leaning sheepishly against the frame, hands in pockets as he looked at her uncomfortably.

"If it's any consolation, I don't really wanna be here either," he muttered.

Biting her lip, she looked at him uncertainly, both unsure what to do next.

"Really?" Santana intoned, looking at the two of them awkwardly staring at each other. "Look if you two just want to skip the formalities and make out on the front porch I'm totally fine with that…"

At that Rachel rolled her eyes, glaring at the Latina as she strode purposefully into the lounge, Finn trailing behind. With a theatrical flourish she threw herself on the sofa, refusing to look at the other two as they entered the room.

"What are you doing here anyway?" she huffed.

"Group therapy," Santana stated flatly, pushing Finn into a lounge chair before crossing her arms and striding purposefully about the room. Rachel looked at her boyfriend curiously, to which he just shrugged his shoulders before turning his eyes back to the Latina who now stood before them.

"Ok so let's just cut the crap here guys so I can get out of here as soon as possible. This is a whole lot of mess that I didn't want to get involved in in the first place but since we've come this far I kind of feel obliged to see it through. Plus your virginal status is getting really painful to watch Berry, and as much as I've tried relieving you of it myself you seem pretty stuck on Hudson…"

"damn right she is," Finn muttered earning a thawing half smile from his still deliberately petulant girlfriend.

Santana rolled her eyes and took a step towards the door. "Great! Well I'll be leaving now so you two can sort this mess out on your own…"

"NO," Rachel exclaimed jumping up and glancing nervously at Finn, "I think it would be helpful if you stayed."

"Really?" Finn cried dropping his head back against the headrest before looking at her pleadingly, "I'm with Santana – she leaves and we work this out on our own."

"Says the boy who spent the last two days avoiding me!" Rachel replied hands on hips. "Look Finn, if I've learnt anything from my years of therapy it's that an objective view is sometimes constructive when dealing with complex personal issues."

"Oh so that explains why when it came to learning about sex you naturally went to Santana who hates you instead of your _boyfriend _who feels just the opposite_."_

"So now you're _blaming_ me for wanting to improve _our_ sex life?"

"Well I don't see anyone else here bringing in a so called _sexpert!" _he yelled in frustration._ "Man, _how can we even have a sex life when I can't get you alone for five minutes?"

"_You're_ the one who gave up our make-out afternoon to play Halo with Puck and Artie!" Rachel shrieked in reply, "how is _that_ helpful to our relationship, sexual or otherwise?"

"_Madre de dios_!" Santana interrupted with an exaggerated eye roll as the argument escalated rapidly. "SHUT UP!" she shouted causing them both to sit back in their seats. "While I generally advocate more physical ways of resolving relationship issues I can't in all honesty recommend that when you're both behaving like _3 year olds!_"

"And don't even think about saying 'was not' Hudson," she challenged as his lips pursed together in a silent 'w'.

Finn huffed, crossing his arms across his chest but remained silent.

"Let's cut to the chase - we all know what the endgame is here right?"

"Endgame?" Finn queried obviously confused.

"Sex, Finnocence," the Latina replied with impatient sarcasm, "You and Rachel get to have sex."

"Cool..." he replied, a tentative smile appearing on his girlfriend's face.

"Sooo," she continued looking at each of them in turn, "you are both going to shut up and listen and answer the questions honestly as I ask them and not lose our tempers again."

They both nodded in agreement a tentative glance passing between them.

"OK So Rachel, obviously a point of frustration for Finn has been your choice to engage me as your personal 'sex therapist', which I will just say that I am totally awesome at." Finn rolled his eyes as Santana continued on. "Why don't you start by explaining to Finn your reasons for doing this."

"Of course," Rachel replied turning to her boyfriend. He raised an eyebrow as she took his hand and sat forward eagerly, that familiar intense look in her eyes that usually came before a really long speech.

"I'm fully aware of how tumultuous our relationship has been in the past, and now that we're together for the third time I want our relationship to go the distance."

"Totally," he replied his response earning him a pleased smile as she patted his knee.

"So obviously the success of our physical relationship is integral to the growth of our emotional relationship."

"Uh-huh" he nodded.

"and given your relative inexperience in carnal matters combined with the fact that I am myself a complete neophyte….."

Finn's brows drew together in confusion as she continued on.

"…I thought it best to engage an expert. After all, the sexual patterns and behaviours we establish now will have to sustain us throughout the rest of our lives."

Santana sucked in a breath as her eyebrows shot into her hairline. Finn looked at her, confusion evident in his expression as Rachel smiled serenely at him.

"Okaaay," he nodded, "What exactly does that mean?"

"It means Finn," she replied taking his hand tenderley, "that if we are to be together for the next fifty years, if we want to be life partners, it's important to get this right at the very beginning."

"Way to kill the mood Berry," Santana muttered under her breath.

Finn looked between them, the blank expression on his face replaced a long moment later by a frown of comprehension. "Wait…does that mean I only get to sleep with one person for the rest of my life?"

"Uh…kinda not the point Finntard…." Santana interrupted but not quick enough as the diva snapped.

"You already slept with Santana, how many more meaningless hook-ups do you need?"

"And there she blows," the Latina muttered, standing hastily as Finn threw himself back into the sofa with a roll of the eyes and Rachel huffed indignantly.

"OK lets just get through the next five minutes 'cos frankly snix is begging me to kick some sense into both of your sorry butts and right now I'm inclined to let her have at it."

Rachel cast a worried eye at her still belligerent boyfriend before refocusing on Santana.

"Look Finn," the Latina continued with forced patience, "bottom line here is that Rachel did this because for some misguided reason she thinks your weird potato head and Michelin man six pack are totally hot. I did tell her straight up that you didn't know the first thing about sex so you'd hardly know the difference if she was just as sucky in bed as you, but you know Berry, just has to be a damn expert on everything. So Finnocence how about you suck it up and get over it because without my help you guys would just be a whole lot of hot mess, floundering around with no idea what you're doing."

"But that's just it," he exclaimed standing suddenly and pulling at his hair in frustration. "I don't want porn star Rachel, or sex vamp Rachel. I want sweet, innocent Rachel, the one who sometimes doesn't know what she's doing but practices until she's the best she can be; the one who's vulnerable and makes mistakes and lets me help make her better; the one who doesn't judge me on what I get wrong, just helps me do better. So yeah if it takes fifty years to get it right then that's how long it'll take 'cos that's the Rachel I know and that's the Rachel I love and that's the Rachel I really, really, _really_ want to have sex with."

"Wow," breathed the girl in question, her eyes focused on the angrily pacing teen before her.

Santana looked at her sharply, instantly recognising the slightly glazed expression and flushed cheeks as she gazed at her boyfriend in all his righteous anger.

"Seriously? _This_ is what turns you on? Finnoncence angry is about as sexy as papa smurf on a bad day.''

Rachel straightened, reining in her sudden lustful thoughts as she addressed the other girl. "Whilst I will forever be a staunch defender of the feminine right to respect by the male populace I have to admit that I'm ironically turned on by Finn's display of masculine frustration and his spontaneous assertion of his rights as a dominant partner in the sexual relationship."

"Wh…what?" Finn stumbled, "I only got the bit about sex and frustration."

"Exactly!" said Santana standing abruptly and making her way towards the door, "and if you two can't work out what comes next I give up."

Rachel rose hastily to follow the Latina, biting her lip and casting a wary glance at Finn who threw up his hands in frustration before sinking back down on the couch.

"Great, thanks Santana - now we're in a worse fight than we were before and I still have no idea what the hell is going on!"

"Work it out dough boy," the latina threw back over her shoulder, "makeup sex is awesome so if I don't hear my girl Berry hear hitting those high F's from Lima Heights in the next hour I'm coming after your pasty ass."

And with that she exited the room, grabbing her coat off the rack as she opened the door preparing to make as quick an exit as she could. Rachel grabbed her shoulder as she crossed the threshold causing her to roll her eyes as she turned back.

"Look Berry my job here is done – I'm pretty sure I reached the limits of my patience and expertise about two days ago…"

"I know that Santana," the smaller girl interrupted quickly, taking the Latina's hand and squeezing it, leaving her with an expression of surprise and confusion. "I…I just wanted to say thankyou, for myself and Finn, even though he doesn't express it very well, I'm sure he appreciates your help just as much as I do."

"Yeah, well I'm awesome so get over it."

"You really are," Rachel said sincerely with an intense look that Santana wasn't sure how to interpret. "I'm going to hug you now…" she continued, much to the Latina's surprise who could do nothing but stand there and accept the fact that the small diva had wrapped her arms around her, squeezing her tightly. After a long moment of stunned silence on her part where she found her own arms had automatically wrapped around the other girls body she eventually shook herself out of her surprised stupor.

"Really Rachel?" she queried in her usual sarcastic manner, "I've spent the last week trying to teach you to have sex with a man and you change your mind _now_?"

"I'm not switching teams Santana," Rachel replied crisply, "this is merely a display of friendly affection to show my appreciation. It's what friends do you know."

"Fine Berry," the latina scoffed before giving a little wiggle and whispering in the other girls ear, "but just so you know, your boobs can appreciate mine anytime you like."

"Oh my God!" Rachel exclaimed pulling back, hands automatically going to her hips. "Must everything be sexual with you?"

"I'm joking!" she laughed in response.

When Rachel merely rolled her eyes the Latina turned to put on her coat, grabbing her keys as she did so.

"Wait…" Rachel said as the opened the door to leave.

"Jesus Christ Berry – what now?" the Latina cried in frustration. "You've got your man sitting on your sofa, you're all turned on by his ridiculous little hissy fit and your parents won't be home for hours – what else could you possibly need?"

"Ummm…that's the problem. How do I get him to calm down and think of …other things?"

Santana rolled her eyes "Ok last bit of advice treasure trail, there is a fine line between being angry and being turned on and believe me it don't take much to cross it, you just have to nudge him a little."

"H-how do I do that?"

Santana frowned for a moment as if she was attempting to solve a great conundrum. "See I'd just walk back in there naked but I'm guessing you might want to try something more subtle."

Rachel's eyes widened and her jaw dropped open in shock. Santana snorted as she turned and walked out the door, calling over her shoulder as she did so.

"Close your mouth Berry, and lose the panties…."

**Reviews appreciated – you never know, it might help me write faster ;)**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N So much for good intentions but at least quicker than the last one ****Can't believe it's taken this many chapters for Finn to get into Rachel's pants but its finally happening. Warning for the younger viewers, this chapter is pretty much all smut….and for those more mature among us – Happy New Year! **

**Disclaimer – don't own Glee, if I did Finchel would be together right now!**

**Chapter 13**

Rachel leant her head against the closed door, thoughts racing through her mind. Glancing nervously down at her skirt she looked towards the lounge as she drew in a deep breath, steeling her shoulders in resolve. She was Rachel Berry after all, why couldn't she be as brave and fearless in the bedroom as she was on the stage? And it _was_ Finn, her kind, trusting boyfriend who never made her feel inadequate, and who had in fact just declared his love and desire for her in the sweetest way possible.

With a small smile she hooked her thumbs beneath her skirt and shimmied a little, biting her lip in nervous excitement as she watched her panties drop to her ankles. Bending carefully to pick them up she pursed her lips blowing out a slow breath before marching purposefully back into the lounge.

"Look Rachel, I'm still not really sure what's going on here," Finn stated leaning forward as she came to stand before where he was seated on the lounge, "but I agree with Santana, we need to talk about this….." his words faltered as she unexpectedly dropped a scrap of lace in his lap, his fingers instinctively reaching for the object as his brow furrowed in confusion. "I don't…."

Rachel watched the play of expressions across his face as after a long moment he realised what exactly it was he held in his hands. Biting her lip to stifle a giggle at the way he stumbled over his words she silently high-fived Santana as her boyfriend's anger turned to something else entirely.

Rubbing his fingers together with the delicate material between them, he stared in wonder before his eyes rose slowly to focus on her short mini before traveling up to meet her own, lingering briefly over her now heaving breasts on the way. Face flushed and eyes questioningly excited, when that small dimple and half smile appeared on his lips Rachel realised that she had never loved him more than she did in that moment.

"Rach, ….I…." he breathed, his words drifting off into nothing as the look between them intensified. Placing a finger against his lips, she leaned down slowly, eventually replacing it with her mouth as she applied a gentle pressure.

In a heartbeat his hands were on her hips dragging her down to his lap before his fingers wound their way to her jaw, caressing determinedly as he pulled her mouth closer to deepen the kiss. The temperature in the room seemed to escalate ten degrees as their lips parted then merged together, tongues hungrily seeking each other as their bodies instinctively did the same. The only sound was that of laboured breathing as every now and then they came apart for much needed air, before diving eagerly back into the fray.

Rachel could feel him, already hard against the outside of her thigh, as she squirmed slightly in his lap. With a firm hand he gripped her hip, pressing her closer, the sensation causing both to moan as she then slowly and deliberately started moving herself against him.

Finn could hardly believe it, the closest he'd even got to grinding on her was a couple of days before in the school hall, and here she was, literally all over him, deliberately rubbing her thigh against his hard on, and pressing her boobs to his chest. His eyes sprung open suddenly as he realised how close he was to a mailman moment, but the sight before him didn't help _at all_; not only could he see straight down her blouse to the creamy swell of her breasts, but the glimpse of smooth upper thighs and the shadowy promise beyond her brief mini tempted him almost beyond his control. Especially when he caught a glimpse of discarded lace on the sofa beside him…

In an act of self-preservation he moved his hand to her legs, trying to still her, a move that had the opposite effect as she echoed his movements, placing her hand over his and pushing it slightly higher up her thigh. His fingers edged beneath the hem and instinctively his thumb caressed the soft skin in slow circles, their comparative size difference meaning it landed in the dark, warm and tempting space between her upper thighs.

Sucking in a deep breath he tried to focus on what Santana had told him the day before and not get distracted by what lay in his hands…._the smooth, hot, soooooo soft skin of his girlfriend's upper thighs….._

But damn if it wasn't hard.

And as she moved her lips to his neck, and murmured in his ear "touch me, Finn", he almost choked on the gold plated invitation. His hand automatically went higher, his palm encompassing a smooth hip as his thumb dipped into the sweet juncture of her thigh, rubbing back and forth over the soft skin. In response she literally squirmed in his lap, her thighs rubbing together, her tongue traversing his collarbone as she applied her lips and sucked hard.

_Damn…that's gonna leave a mark…._

Mentally shaking himself, Finn worked hard to restrain himself from going against every urge in his hormonally charged teenage body. What he really wanted was to simply hike up that mini, part those sweet thighs and bury himself deep inside over and over, but Santana had practically hammered it into him that he had to take it slow. How the hell was he supposed to manage that when Rachel had gone from zero to completely turned on in less than two minutes?

And yeah, despite what he'd said earlier –Rachel _totally_ rocked the sex vamp thing.

With a deep shuddering breath he recalled Santana's advice…._best way to distract yourself from arriving early - focus on her._

Unwittingly the words Puck had uttered following that statement came to mind…

"_yeah and don't pansy ass around making your move – think of it like football, hesitate and you get blindsided - game over. Know your play bro and go for it….."_

_That_ he could do, he was the quarterback after all.

As smoothly as he could, he shifted their combined bodies, laying her down on the sofa, his own body coming to rest alongside as he brought his lips down to meet hers in a deep, passion filled kiss. Her response was immediate; threading her fingers through his hair, she pulled him closer and sucked slowly on his tongue, her thighs rubbing together in anticipation of something more. Groaning in response, Finn's cock developed a mind of its own, twitching at the encouragement and forcing his hips into a gentle thrusting motion as his leg slipped between hers. A moment later and she was matching his rhythm, undulating her core against his thigh, the damp heat burning through his light khakis and into his already overheated skin.

Their lips parted as both savoured the new sensations, sucking in heavy breaths in an attempt to deal with the overwhelming friction their bodies were creating. Finn cursed inwardly as he inhaled steadily, I mean Puck and Santana's advice was awesome and everything but it didn't really factor in that Rachel could turn him inside out without even trying.

Case in point, they were barely moving now but just the sight of Rachel's body entwined with his own was doing him in; with cheeks flushed and eyes closed her breath came shallow and uneven as she clearly savoured the pressure of his thigh firmly wedged against her. Chest swelling in pride at being the cause of her excitement, his raging desire inexplicably turned to something more tender. Her eyes fluttered briefly as he kissed her gently on the brow, his lips lingering as he felt an unbidden surge of love. As she lay struggling with the sensations coursing through her body, arching into him in a mindless search for satisfaction, he marvelled over the feelings _he_ had created knowing in that moment exactly what he needed to do. All nervousness gone, his fingers deftly undid the buttons on her blouse, slipping inside to tease the warm, pliant skin. Her eyes popped open in surprise but her gaze was hooded, then encouraging when she diverted it to where his hand lay. His firm hand on her breast was new territory but with a deft flick of her fingers she welcomed him, releasing the bra clasp between her breasts (a move he was eternally grateful for given that Santana had had him practising on garments that hooked in the back, a skill he'd barely mastered anyway).

As their eyes met again hers dropped to his lips and he followed her invitation, kissing her deeply, his hand gliding confidently across her ribs, taking her now bare breast in his palm and squeezing lightly. She moaned against his mouth, her tongue languidly moving against his as her body stilled as if waiting for something more. Finn couldn't help but take a moment to savour, her breast smooth as silk as he cupped its fullness in his palm, his thumb rubbing slowly over the nipple, her body arching into his touch in response. Every pass of his thumb seemed to elicit a moan or held breath, and Finn knew he must have been doing something right when she threaded her fingers through his hair, guiding his lips lower until they met the gentle swell near her heart.

Santana had told him to look for the signals, and right now he was getting a _huge_ fucking green light. Ignoring the urge to fist pump his own success, he heeded the urgency in her movements, his hand resting on her ribs as his tongue moved confidently over the sweet, tender flesh. Rasping slowly over her peaked nipple elicited a throaty moan, closing his lips over the tight bud and sucking lightly bringing a response that sent Finn's eyebrows shooting into his hairline.

"_Fii…FUUUUUUCK….." _she cried out, her voice a mix of pleading torment as she pushed her chest against his mouth and ground her core hard against his thigh.

In all their years together Finn had _never_ heard Rachel swear, even in the middle of a huge diva tantrum she always managed to maintain control of her language, her verbal dexterity bamboozling even the most eloquent opponent. The fact that _he_ had reduced her to this, a quivering, mindless mess, caused his chest to puff with pride. Further encouraged, his mouth closed over the fullness of her breast sucking a little harder as his tongue worked her nipple relentlessly. Increasingly her breath came in short pants, fingers clutching at his back as they fisted his T-shirt into a twisted mess, her nails occasionally digging into the flesh as her hips rocked steadily against him. Sensing the time for exploratory teasing was over he quickly slid his hand between her legs, pressing his fingers firmly against her in an attempt to satiate her growing need. It was hardly enough though and she undulated against him demanding more. Sliding a finger between her moist folds he marvelled at how warm and wet she was, slick with a need and desire that he had created. Closing his eyes to focus on the sensations at his fingertips, he slowly traversed the sweet flesh, familiarising himself with the feel of her body. His lips stilled as he concentrated, his fingers coasting over what was obviously her swollen clit, before continuing on to her entrance, one finger dipping slightly inside. Mentally high-fiving himself for getting all the parts right on the first go, he repeated the action several times, noting the way she pushed against him as his fingers passed her clit before calming as he descended lower, his finger venturing deeper inside with each pass.

His confidence growing by the second, Finn worked his fingers against the swollen bundle of nerves, starting slow, gradually increasing his speed and pressure as he felt her body react, all the while laving his tongue slowly across her nipple. As he listened to the cadence of her breath and the heavy thud of her heart beneath his ear, he closed his eyes and immersed himself in the moment, Santana's words suddenly making sense…

"_sex is a sensory experience, one of the few human actions where we rely almost completely on our senses to guide us. How good it is depends on how willing you are to give yourself over to that, to tune your senses to what your partner's body is telling you…"_

And at that moment, he was pretty sure Rachel's body was telling him she was close, like _really, really_ close. Her body now moved against his hand in a sweet rhythm, her fingers threaded through his hair held his lips firmly against her breast as her breath came in hard pants punctuated by moans and the occasional muttered curse. All of a sudden her breath faltered and held; slipping two fingers deep inside and curling them slightly, his thumb worked her clit as he gently grasped a nipple between his teeth, tongue teasing the surface before his lips closed over it sucking _hard_.

For a moment he thought he'd been too forceful because the earth shattering scream she let go just about deafened him, but as he felt a new pulsing sensation around his fingers, her body suddenly limp in his arms, he knew he'd totally just _rocked her world_.

Almost smirking in satisfaction he eased the pressure, withdrawing his fingersand moving them slowly against her as he pressed gentle kisses across her bare breast easing her down from the intense high, her short breaths eventually evening out as her fingers released their death grip, stroking slowly through his hair. His lips moved tenderly up her neck, light against the flushed skin as his fingers drew her blouse across, buttoning it loosely before resting lightly against her ribs.

"Mmmmmm," she murmured, her eyes hooded and sultry as they met his.

"You OK?" he whispered, his ears still ringing slightly as he smiled down at her, their noses rubbing together. She merely nodded in reply, too stunned to voice her thoughts as she looked at him tenderly. He kissed her temple, his tongue dipping lower to trace the shell of her ear before sucking gently on her lobe.

"I wasn't quite sure," he whispered teasingly as he readjusted their positions so they now lay side by side his hand lightly squeezing her hip, "you know you were swearing like a trucker for a while there…."

Rachel blushed, smacking him lightly on the arm as she buried her head in his shoulder. Lifting her chin he kissed her tenderly but deeply, their tongues now moving languidly together, the previous urgency now gone. His hand roamed to her behind squeezing lightly as he pulled her flush against him, his own arousal still very much evident as it pressed against her belly. She wiggled against him slightly with a saucy smile causing him to growl in response as he pressed hot kisses to her neck, his hand slipping up the back of her skirt to rest on her bare backside...

Which is how her daddy found them a moment later when he burst through the front door in a panic wielding a baseball bat in one hand and a taser in the other, screaming at the top of his lungs...

**Make my new year – leave a review if you liked it!**


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